“What super power do you have?“

“I can kill coaches without ever touching them.“

Jim Mora Sr. has been having trouble sleeping lately, having nightmares of his son, Atlanta Falcons head coach Jim Mora Jr. being killed by their star quarterback, Michael Vick. A crafty news reporter posed the question to the elder Mora, asking if Vick was a “coach killer” (no doubt inferring Dan Reeves was also a victim of Vick’s super powers - though not the powers he weilds as alter ego Ron Mexico, mind you).

Mora answered that he was concerned for his son.

Um, hello? Why is the idea of Vick being a coach-killer news?

Didn’t I cover this topic over and over? Am I the only one not sucking the exhaust fumes Vick kicks out as he runs by?
If you get a chance to watch a Falcon game and they give you the behind-the-QB-angle, watch him size up his open receiver. I’ve given shorter glances to the hot redhead with the nice breasts at the end of the bar at 2am. It’s not a wonder he throws so many balls on the ground - everyone knows who the ball is going to, and his Sugar-Ray-Leonard-windmill-punch delivery tells everyone when it’ll be leaving his hands.

Instead of rallying his troops when they’re down, he sits his cornrowed locks at the end of the bench like a brooding wideout who isn’t getting enough looks at the ball.

Change the guy’s number to 32 and put him about 10 feet further back from the snap. He’d be a phenomenal running back.

I’ve met Joe Montana.* And you sir, are no Joe Montana.

* lie

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