With the coming of the close of the calendar year and the NFL’s regular season, I thought a quick jog down memory lane might be fun.

10) New Orleans Saints

Remember in week 3, when the New Orleans Saints faced the Atlanta Falcons on Monday Night Football? The Saints were 2-0 at the time, and I thought it was a nice story. City gets wiped out, starts to rebuild, football team serves as rallying point, yadda-yadda. And the Monday night game happened, the Saints sending the Falcons home in body bags. Even then it seemed like they were running more on emotion than on talent; you just knew that tank of fuel would have a limited supply. You probably thought like I did, that they would pull a Minnesota Vikings, lighting the NFL world on fire for the first third of the season, then collapse in on themselves like a submarine beyond it’s depth. The Saints aren’t a playoff team, right? Looks like they might be this year.

9) The Detroit Lions

Well, this one really isn’t much of a story. The Lions got a new head coach in Rod Marinelli. This ex-Marine and his head-through-bricks style was going to make this perennial loser respectable. New attitude and all that. Then one of Marinelli’s hand-selected coaches pulls into the local Wendy’s without any pants on. I’m not a Marine, but I would bet that if a new recruit shows up for the obstacle course naked, he’s not gonna be one of The Few. Marinelli should have showed he meant business by kicking that smelly, naked ass to the curb. He didn’t, and really, what can you expect from a team that boasts clothing optional coaching?

8) The Chicago Bears

A howitzer and a pea-shooterThey insisted that with a healthy Rex Grossman they now had the offensive weapons to complement their pick one defense, and would be a legit contender for the Heavyweight Crown of the NFL. And really, they still are. But when it took defensive miracles by Chicago to come back against Arizona in week 6, we wondered if Denny Green was off his rocker or spot on about what he thought they were. In the final third of the regular season, it became clear that the Bears of ‘06 were the mirror image of the Bears of ‘05; the stingiest defense on God’s green earth, but soft as a warm marshmallow on offense. Like watching Martina Navratilova playing half her serves with her left hand, the other half with her right. Like Denny Green had recommended, I’d crowned their ass, even a week before he said to. Oops.

7) San Diego Chargers

This might be the most talented Marty Schottenheimer-coached team ever fielded. He’s had a fantastic coaching run in his career, with every single successful regular season culminating in Marty winning the Bupkus Award.. As in nothing. As in Without Hardware. And while the story for the Chargers in 2006 has been great so far, you know the bulk of this story is going to be written between week 17 and the first or second week of the playoffs, the storyline being how yet another Marty coached team can dominate the regular season, then shrivel up and blow away in the playoffs like the flaky sugar of a jelly-filled doughnut in a cold January breeze.

6) Philadelphia Eagles

Fresh from his crotch sports hernia surgery Donovan McNabb wanted to prove their 2004 Superbowl run wasn’t made solely on the shoulders of T.O. But in midseason McNabb tore an ACL and is likely gone for 12 months. Enter the elderly, well-heeled Jeff Garcia, and against conventional wisdom the Eagles go on a run that has them as an odds-on favorite to win the NFC.

5) Indianapolis Colts

I honestly thought Tony Dungy was sandbagging the Colts offense this year to help give their defense longer rests between taking the field. Gone were the 3-touchdown lightning strikes that put a game out of reach by the 7-minute mark of the first quarter. In their place was a grinding offense that seemed out of place given their personnel. And now as the season draws to a close, whatever mettling Dungy has done seems to be unraveling; the Colts have lost four of their last six and Peyton Manning has got that old, familiar look on his face - the look of someone about to throw his teammates under the bus. Again.

4) San Francisco 49ers

Investing heavily in smoke machines and reflective glass, general manager Scot McCloughan and head coach Mike Nolan have put together a very respectable season given the salary cap purgatory they’ve been in the last few years.

3) Oakland Raiders

squeeze your nuts?Like a thick rubber band over the nads of a bull, Al Davis has kept such a firm grip on his team that it has withered and just about fallen off of the NFL body that carries it. Despite failing health, Davis carts himself around in a rolling walker, but still keeps one hand free for the reach-under on the team. He pulls Art Shell out of mothballs and puts him on the sideline. The “Return to Respectability” memo never makes it out of Kinkos, and they go on to lose 85% of their games in 2006. As long as Davis is breathing, the Raiders will continue to perform like dangling raisins.

2) Pittsburgh Steelers

The 2005 Superbowl champions will miss the 2006 playoffs. Big Ben Roethlisberger goes under the knife about 4 times in twelve months, including two emergency surgeries. Does it mess with his head and get him to start asking some of life’s bigger questions? Probably. Not having a bus to ride on probably hurt, too. Not to mention a coach who bought a house in another state and moved his family there, but claims he’s staying in Pittsburgh.

1) Green Bay Packers

Despite many predictions to the contrary (including my own), the Packers will finish with more than 5 wins in 2006. Not bad considering they downgraded their defensive coordinator (with the defensive league rankings plunging south along with it) and had a head coach with no head coaching experience. Though let’s shoot straight - playing against the Vikings and Lions twice makes getting to 7 wins a lot easier. They accounted for 4 of the 7. But the Packers are certainly getting better.

Little by little.

But if they make the playoffs, go get yourself some Packers tickets.

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