Ok, Brett. I know you have some free time on your hands now, because I saw you on TV splitting wood and chucking footballs over small bodies of water, talking about some drugs you’d been taking for nine days.
When I last saw you (New Year’s Eve), you’d said something about taking 2-3 weeks to make your decision whether to return next season. By my count, 3 weeks is up.
You’re now on the clock.
Media? Release the hounds!
Technorati Tags: Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Waffles are only good for Breakfast
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Javon Walker really can be occupied by a simple index card. Back in 2002 when he was drafted, he scored a 9 on his Wonderlic test. The average among NFL wide receivers is 17. And wide receivers, according to the stats, are the second-dumbest players on the field, tied with fullbacks but ahead of halfbacks. Some said he might not be smart enough to play football. According to the information in the above link, he could even be considered mildly retarded.
His recent outside-the-lines activity appears to back the arguement.
During his short time in Green Bay, I recall an incident when Walker was questioned or involved in an incident at a club where there was a stabbing or a shooting (in Tennessee or Texas maybe?) and someone in Walker’s party either received an injury or dealt one. It was very early in his tenure at Green Bay, and I remember people talking on job sites and in the media: “This guy’s not too bright; he’s gonna get himself or someone else killed at this pace.”
Now it’s several years later and he’s moved on to Denver, but around Christmas, again the ingredients to cook up a batch of stupid were present: Javon Walker, a nightclub and other people.
Lord only knows what happened the night that Darrent Williams was shot and killed, and while I never knew the guy, reports are that he was a good and generous kid. He just got mixed up in Walker’s retarded recipe and paid the biggest price.
But what really sells me on stupid was how Walker responded. I mean, when a friend of yours dies, what’s usually the first thing you want to do? Get the eff out of town and hit the bars, right? Get freaky with some local honey in another city? Absolutely.
Actually, no. Not at all. A four-year-old might not be able to handle facing the grim reality of the circumstances, but a stand-up man can. What did Javon do? You can probably guess. He skipped his friend’s funeral and instead found another ninety-foot Hummer (sans bullet holes) in another city to cruise the clubs trying to find some receptacles for his stupid seed.
He may have been in shock. But having held my own father’s bloody head in my hands, praying he wouldn’t die, I’m not inclined to give this Mensa Densa member any slack for not standing up and doing the bare minimum under these circumstances.
To the family of Darrent Williams I offer my heartfelt condolences. Nobody should be taken that young.
To Javon Walker, I ask that you remove that organ donor sticker from your ID. No good can come from someone getting a dumb liver or mildly retarded kidneys.
Technorati Tags: Javon Walker, Green Bay Packers, Denver Broncos, Duh
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The story of the Phoenix goes a little like this - there is this magnificent, legendary bird that lives for 500 years. As it nears the end of it’s life, it builds itself a funeral pyre stacked high with wood. As it starts to die, it lays down on the pyre and when it touches the pyre, the stacked wood bursts into flames and the bird dies. When the flames have subsided, the bird emerges from the ashes, reborn, and lives another 500 years.
Like the story of that legendary bird, Mike Sherman built himself a coaching funeral pyre by stacking wood and pouring gas all over Lambeau field. In the true Barry Switzer tradition, Sherman took a really strong team and slowly let it down and parted it out until there were barely enough pieces to field a team. Through terrible personnel choices (from his coaching staff to every player he picked or traded for) and sub-mediocre coaching, Mike Sherman made sure he burned the Packers to the ground before he left.
His coaching career clearly dying, he went to the Houston Texans to serve as Dom Capers assistant coffee-fetcher and die. (Seriously, his title is Assistant Head Coach/Offense - what the hell is that? Yes-man to the head coach?)
And now?
In a strange twist of irony and turn of phrase, he’s in Phoenix. Interviewing with the Arizona Cardinals. Looking to rise from the ashes.
Like the Detroit Lions, Arizona has had decades of losing seasons, coach after coach, GM after GM. Clearly Arizona Cardinal ownership is no better at evaluating talent than Sherman is. They may just deserve each other.
I say what the hell. Give him the job. It’ll mean one less team anyone has to worry about in the NFC. A good warmer-upper team. Like an NFL fluffer.
Technorati Tags: NFL, Green Bay Packers, Arizona Cardinals, Mike Sherman, head coach, off-camera talent
Hey, if you’re in Wisconsin, make some time to catch Milwaukee concerts. *
*I was paid to say that.
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