My Official Green Bay Packers blog

What You Already Know About Andre Rison

Andre Rison attended Michigan State University and set the school’s all-time-receptions mark with 146 (which was recently surpassed by Matt Trannon). He started his professional football career in Indianapolis in 1989, and after one season went to Atlanta, where he played five seasons, averaging 80+ catches per season, making the pro bowl in all but his final season with the “dirty birds”. It was in that final year (1994) that he also had his million-dollar Atlanta home burned to the ground by TLC hottie Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes in a fit of rage. (Some people believed the 1998 movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” borrowed from this real-life story when Angela Bassett’s character burned a spurned lover’s house to the ground. Or maybe a car. I know she burned something.) That and other off-field activity saw ESPN’s Chris “The Comb-over” Berman nickname him Andre “Bad Moon” Rison.

In 1995 he played for the Cleveland Browns, then was picked up by the Jaguars in 1996. Partway through the season the Green Bay Packers snagged him to help make a Superbowl run. He was only in Titletown for 5 regular season games and the playoffs, but he made an impression. The town was turned upside-down, not knowing if they wanted someone with such a checkered past running around our pristine, milk-fed city. Turned out he was no trouble at all while he was here, and even showcased Ron Wolf’s ability to pick winners, as a Favre-to-Rison hookup in the first quarter of Superbowl XXXI put the Packers in the lead on their way to a big win in the Big Easy.

It was during this same season that I got the chance to meet Andre Rison. It was on a plane headed from Green Bay to Detroit; I passed him in first class on the way to my seat. In coach. And by “meet”, I mean I walked by, saw a ‘blinged black man stowing his luggage, realized who it was, tried to think of something cool to say, realized I’d sound like a dork no matter what I said, then just grinned stupidly and walked by.

What’s Happened Since Rison Left Green Bay

After the Superbowl XXXI victory, the Packers let Rison go, and he found himself a job in Kansas City, where he played the 1997,98 and 99 seasons for the Chiefs. In 2000 he went to the Raiders, where he played his final season of NFL football, snaring 41 balls and scoring 6 touchdowns. At the end of his NFL career, Rison totaled 743 catches for over 10,000 yards and 84 touchdowns.

He was also busted that year for writing $158,000 in bad checks. Like the bad mo-fos Rison and I are, I was also once busted for writing a bad check. It was 1988, I was in college and starving. So I kited a check for pizza. Totally worth it.

In ‘01, with his NFL days seemingly behind him, he reconnected with Left-Eye, and had plans for marriage (I know. WTF, right?). Tragically she was killed in a car accident in 2002 while vacationing in Honduras. At the time I believe they said she was carrying out a charity mission for young children there. Rison’s homeowner’s insurance premiums dropped 50% the next day. (Am I a prick for saying that?)

Shortly after that a small hole appeared in the earth’s crust and swallowed Rison whole. It chewed on him for a couple years before it decided to spit him back out to join the rest of us, where he promptly signed with the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL in 2004. As with the Packers, he helped lift the team to a championship, giving the Argos a Grey Cup victory for the 2004 season. Rison played for Toronto again in 2005, but by the end of the season he was out of a job. It was also around this time that another judge decided that since Rison hadn’t paid the $127,000 in back child support he owed to Raycoa Handley (mother of his two sons), he’d should spend some time in the Big House playing a 30-day game of “Don’t get your shit pushed in.” When Rison got out, his bunghole intact, he cut the court a check for $10,000 and called it square.

In 2006 he was spotted at the Pro Bowl Legends game, a sandlot game for the oldtimers. According to Andre Rison’s own website:

If you had the pleasure to watch Andre (at the 2006 Legends game), you see why many people are saying he still has a few seasons left in him. Playing alongside Michael Irvin, Steve Young, John Elway, and Irving Fryar, Rison dazzled the crowd with his quick feet and sure hands while playing in an event during the 2006 Pro Bowl.

Ok, Andre. Two coats of gloss is plenty.

Rison still wants to play ball. He doesn’t expect to make it in the NFL anymore, he just wants to play ball. Arena, DePere JV, whatever. Unfortunately, in his quest for relevance he’s very close to crossing the Flavor Flav line into absurdity. About 13 months ago Rison was seen on Spike TV’s Pros VS Joes, playing with Kordell Stewart against the skinny white boy tandem from Deadspin. Even then the producers of the show warned the white boy tandem not to tackle Rison or Stewart, because they might hurt them, as they both were “trying to make comebacks”.

As if.

What’s more, in researching this article I discovered that tonight on TNA Wrestling, Rison will be smashing turnbuckles with “The Monster” Abyss. At this rate, Andre better call dibs on his room on the next Surreal Life.

This is starting to make me sad. You’ve done a lot of amazing things, Andre Rison. Ride off into the sunset as a guy who had a great NFL career and won a couple championships, your dignity and edgy reputation intact.

Technorati Tags: Andre Rison, Wide Receiver, NFL, Football

I heard it on the Bob and Brian show earlier this week and thought they were yankin’ my chain. Then I heard it in a few other places. I guess when Favre pulled up to the Lambeau drive-thru and placed his order for a wide receiver in 2007, they asked “Can we supersize that for you?” Favre replied “Yes, please. Make it a Randy Moss.”

You know who he is, right? I know you’d recognize him by the car he drives: a Lexus with a police officer grill.

I’m willing to suspend all arguements in my head about whether he still has the talent and desire to play top-tier NFL football. Let’s assume for the moment that his two years in Oakland didn’t happen. The drop in total receiving yards per season didn’t drop from the 1500’s to the 500’s. And his touchdowns didn’t fall from low-mid teens per season down to three in 2006. Let’s forget all that for just a minute.

He still is one of the top egos in the NFL. I mean, if I were to call you on the phone and say:

“QUICK! The school bully has been eating churritos all day and has your son pinned to the ground and is threatening to fart in his face unless you can name the top 5 egos in the NFL!”

You’d immediately sputter out:

“Terrell Owens!”

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“Randy Moss!”

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“Brian Billick!”

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“Ocho Cinco! (but in a fun way.)”

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“LaDainian Tomlinson!”

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Unfortunately, my next words would be - “Uh, you’d better stop at the grocery store and pick up some tomato juice for your kids face“, because Tomlinson is as workman-like as they get.

My worry is that our newish head coach Mike McCarthy wouldn’t be able to handle a top-5 NFL ego. Not yet, anyway. A ego like that can turn the newspapers and local radio and television media into a game of locker room jarts. A team can end up spending a non-earmarked share of their time doing damage control instead of game-planning. I don’t know if a sophomore coach can handle that.

Well, maybe he can. He didn’t polish Favre’s helmet the way Sherman did each time he threw a pick. (Yes, I said “polish his helmet”. Take that however you’d like. ) In fact, he got right in his face and chewed him out, all the while giving him the stink-eye.

Only, how do you know which one of them is giving you the stink eye? I mean really, I might wet myself if someone wearing this face just walked up and asked me for the time.

Hmm. Maybe Moss in green wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Technorati Tags: Brett Favre, Randy Moss, Green Bay Packers, Oakland Raiders, NFL, stink-eye

Five Truths About Brett Favre’s Return to the NFL in 2007

Though I mentioned that Brett was on the clock, I’m surprised he made his decision before the Superbowl. I thought that with football sports media at Defcon 1 in prep for the Superbowl, he’d wait until the big game was over, our heads still woozy from the withdrawal symptoms of that terrible disease called No More Football, trying to satiate our thirst with unflavorful generic replacements like NHL and NBA. Then he’d spring it on us nonchalantly, maybe making a brief phonecall to a local beat reporter in Backwoods, MS to make his announcement.

I guess I was right about part of it.

With Favre’s return comes five truths about 2007 and the football seasons to follow:

1. Donald Driver will be invited to another Pro Bowl. With Driver as Favre’s sure-handed security blanket, he’ll catch enough to be tops in the NFC Central again. I mean, who else is gonna throw that many completions to a wideout in the NFC Norris? Rex Grossman? Pshaw. If Greg Jennings can keep both wheels inflated, he’ll also be making the trip to Hawaii.

2. Favre will own virtually every quarterback record that exists on NFL books.

• At 57,500 passing yards, he’s only a few thousand behind Dan Marino’s career mark (61,361). If he has an average year in 2007, he owns this record.
• Dan Marino’s record for most touchdown passes in a career is 420. Brett Favre has 414. He might own that record by week 2 of the 2007 season.
• Unfortunately, the career high-water mark for interceptions is 277 by George Blanda. Favre has 273. He might also own this record by week 2.
• The NFL record for a career for most pass attempts is 8,358, held by Dan Marino. Brett Favre has 8,233. Again, week 2. Maybe. But he’d have to be firing like a tommy gun.
• Favre already owns the record for most completions in a career with 5,021. Marino had 4,967 in his career.
• And of course, there’s the QB Iron Man record for most consecutive starts. If we’re only counting regular season (and why is it the media only counts the regular season? Is it two-hand touch when the playoffs roll around?), Favre has started 239 consecutive regular-season games. Peyton Manning is the next closest at 144, which means he’ll have to play another six straight seasons without an injury to beat Favre. And hell, I’d be willing to lay a lickin’ on Manning to prevent that.
• Victories. Elway has 148 and Marino has 147. After our 8-8 season in 2006, Favre has 147, too. Week 2 might be a pretty big freakin’ week, eh?

Yeah, he’ll never own passer rating records, but what high-noon gunslinger hasn’t sent a few rounds ricocheting off clock towers or horses troughs?

3. The Packers are one year further away from winning their next Super Bowl. Let’s call a potato a potato. Unless God Himself guides Brett Favre’s passes gently into the arms of his receivers and gives firm footing and open lanes to Ahman Green and Vernand Morency, and gets Bob Sanders to squeeze the potential out of his defensive squad (a potential he squandered last year), they aren’t winning the Superbowl next year. Chicago, Grossman and all, will still have a better record than the Packers, and may even have a better quarterback behind center next year. And that’s just in our division. Philly will be good. New Orleans can only get better. And you know Holmgren’s Seahawks will get things figured out in 2007. That means we’re waiting one more year to see who our Quarterback of the Future is. One more year before we’re ready to take a run at reclaiming the trophy that is our birthright by name.

4. The Packers lead back will rush for over 1,500 yards for the season. The offensive line was getting better as the season wore on, and the cut-block zone blocking scheme was gaining momentum. A good receiving corps means no defense will be able to cheat the run.

5. We’ll have one more chance to say goodbye.

Technorati Tags: Brett Favre, NFL, Football, Green Bay Packers, The Truth