My Official Green Bay Packers blog

I wrote about it back in early February, thinking there really weren’t any reasonable odds that Randy Moss would end up a Green Bay Packer. But as the weeks have passed, the Race for Randy Moss appears to be a one-horse race; it’s just a matter of whether Ted Thompson can convince Al Davis that Moss really isn’t worth all the piña colada umbrellas made in China.

Looking for some tips as to how to get the deal done, Ted Thompson came to me for some advice. (Please don’t pass this information on to the Raider organization, as it could jeopardize negotiations.) Here’s what I told him:

He’ll probably need to get Lane Kiffin, the Raiders new head coach, to sign off on the deal. That one is pretty simple. Tell Kiffin he can have a bottle of Orange Crush and play outside on the swingset if he writes his name (in cursive!) on this little-wittle piece of paper.

With Kiffin squeeling from the top of Sunshine Castle, high on a sugar buzz, Thompson’s on to the tougher challenge, owner Al Davis.

With Al Davis seemingly in poor physical and mental health (look who he’s hired recently as proof), I think the best move is to make a run at his aging mind and play the “Yes you did” card:

Ted Thompson: “Now all we need you to do Al, is to sign off on this trade, Randy Moss for Robert Ferguson. Straight up.”

Al Davis: “I never agreed to that.”

Ted Thompson: “Yes you did.” *pulls out pocket tape recorder and plays several seconds of random recording from 1996 of Al Davis saying something barely audible before snapping recorder off. “See? You agreed to it earlier today.”

Al Davis: “Oh. I guess I did. Ok. I’ll sign.”

But now that I’ve given Ted Thompson the inside track for making the deal, I’m having second thoughts on whether we ought to make the deal. Without even getting into the pot smoking or hit and run issues, I question whether Moss is motivated enough to play. In any jobs I’ve had, as soon as you start giving a person special treatment just to do the things they’re supposed to be doing as part of their employment, you’re in for trouble. You know that one day the employee is going to have a new demand, and if it isn’t met, all the previous concessions will mean nothing and you’ll be back to having a guy who sees work as optional. For me, it was the lunchtime lap dances. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. They can really help with the afternoon push, but my employers never saw it that way.

And let’s not forget, we already have a Pro Bowl receiver in Donald Driver. As others have said before, Green Bay keeps bringing in new #1 receivers, and Driver keeps outperforming them. Maybe Thompson should consider bringing in Moss as the #2 guy, or possibly just drafting a couple lanky sprinters in April. We can always use more good receivers, and having additional legitimate targets might serve as a good relief valve for the pressure Driver gets as the only real receiving threat (Greg Jennings, please stay healthy!).

Technorati Tags: Randy Moss, Donald Driver, Lane Kiffin, Ted Thompson, Green Bay Packers, Oakland Raiders, NFL,   A Kick in the Duds