I’m not sure if you felt it yesterday, but the earth briefly stopped spinning at around 12:30pm CST, right around the time that Brett Favre held a press conference in an attempt to wash the dirty laundry that had been hung out on the line at 1265 Lombardi Avenue.

As is Wisconsin protocol for amber alerts, a presidential address and spoken words from 3-time MVP QB’s, all programming across our state was interrupted so that Favre could discuss the accrued hard feelings thanks to the Randy Moss non-deal. In a brief statement before he took questions from reporters, Favre said that never at any point did he request to be traded from the Packers, and that he had no idea where that rumor came from. He said that yes, he was frustratred, but that was as far as it went.

All I can say is, ladies, this is football. This is not the President surgically selecting words to disclose that there is an Extinction Level Event coming next week, trying to put it in a way that won’t result in us running through the streets, killing each other over a pound of baloney before the asteroid even hits.

Over the course of the week, for those who didn’t listen to any sports blah-blah last week, Favre had made it clear that he wasn’t coming to this first mini-camp, opting instead to take the time to plan for his daugher’s graduation. This was generally interpreted as Favre channeling diva Celine Dion. Later in the week Favre was reported as having changed his plans to attend the minicamp. This was generally interpreted as Favre not liking being compared to Celine Dion.

After that he pooped, and the toilet paper used to wipe up is currently priced at $489.36 on eBay.

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