My Official Green Bay Packers blog

Facing overwhelming evidence, including having his own dawgs rolling on him, Michael Vick chose to accept the plea deal offered by the feds instead of burning through his millions in a court battle he’d ultimately lose, ending up with more prison time.

And as you’ve learned from Michael Bolton in the movie Office Space, there are no conjugal visits in federal pound-you-in-the-ass prison.

It sounds like the plea deal may include up to five years of making license plates and doing telemarketing.

What a fantastic waste of singular talent. When I was a kid I was the first chair clarinet. It only lasted about 6 months; the amount of time it took others to pass my mad clarinet skills through diligent practice. Vick made it all the way to the NFL without really trying. Pro Bowl even. But he didn’t have the heart. He was always known as a guy who didn’t study film, didn’t learn the playbook that well…he just didn’t put the work in.

And he didn’t have to, because he was so incredibly gifted. And maybe that gift was also a curse, because smoke was blown so far up his ass from an early age that he believed he wasn’t like the other guys and didn’t need to put the work in. And maybe that carried over into his off-the-field endeavors - he was the stud quarterback for a top 20 market. No one was going to mess with him, whether he was stuffing weed in a bottle, acting like a primadonna on the sidelines, or killing dogs in the most vicious ways you could imagine.

But as I learned with my clarinet experience, it always catches up with you. Someone else blows that horn a little better, or maybe has quicker finger action. Speaking of blowing horns and finger action, Ron Mexico better keep his quick feet in prison or he may soon be known as Dirty Sanchez.

Technorati Tags: Michael Vick, NFL, Atlanta Falcons, Plea Deal, Pound You In The Ass Prison

It’s been a decade since Mike Holmgren mailed in his Superbowl 32 performance, focusing instead on better-dealing us for his current gig in Seattle. Had this pants-down, woodshed beat-down preseason performance come 5 or more years ago, I probably would’ve spit the words “How’s that taste?” at the television through clenched teeth at Holmgren. But time scabs over all wounds, and I only cared enough about beating Holmgren to pick off the last chunky bit of that reminder and toss it in the trash. We’re three coaches removed from the walrus era, and “Better Deal Mike” lost his coveted GM/Coach job in Seattle because it was too much for him, retaining only the coaching portion. It’s time for me to let it go.

To last night’s game: here we sit, two games into the preseason, having beaten both combatants from the 2006 Superbowl; one in their own house (Steelers, 13-9), the other in our own (Seahawks, 48-13), leaving the distinct smell of a good schellacking across Lambeau Field.

I’ll say it again - I’m not the type to get too fired up about preseason. When you look at the stats for last night’s game, it’s even more reason to hold off on the playoff ticket orders. We only beat the Seahawks in total yards gained by 37 yards. Seahawks had more penalty yards by only 6. They turned the ball over to us six times, but we gave it back five. And we only had the ball 26 seconds more than they did. You might ask: “Well then, smart guy, how’d the Pack put up so many points?”

Great question.

Last night, it was the aggressive play by the defense and a special teams crew that started showing promise that helped the Packers make so much more out of their offensive stats than the Seahawks did. The Packers defense snarfed two fumbles and ran them in for scores while Will Blackmon showed some spark on special teams we haven’t seen since Desmond Howard was running back kicks. An 83-yard kickoff return by Blackmon was turned into 7 points just a few plays later.

There were many who played well in last night’s game, so I’m struggling to name just one to win the weekly Enzyte award. So I’ll take the chicken way out and name the Packers defense as the Enzyte award winner for this week. They were tough and aggressive and just plain more manly than their competition on the other side of the ball.

I’m also naming a “Box of Rocks” winner for last night’s game, for making the boneheaded play of the night. With less than two minutes left in the game, up by 35, it’s a safe bet that you’re going to win the game. So when you think the stripes missed a fumble call, just let it go. By letting it go you show some class, and don’t give the perception that you’re looking to drive Holmgren’s dick in the dirt. Mike McCarthy? He didn’t read that chapter in football etiquette and through his red flag on the field like a boxer who jumps on his unconscious opponent just to get a few more licks in before the referee can end the fight.

He won the challenge but it didn’t impact the game, and in the process he may have given the Seahawks some bulletin board material should they meet in the playoffs. Nice work, Mike.

Oh, one more thing. I’m a moron. While this team dressed in green and had a bird mascot, it was not the Eagles:

Next week they take on the Philadelphia Eagles at Lambeau Field. Philly will be playing on a short week’s rest, playing Monday night against the Ravens, then Saturday against the Packers.

Next time I’ll try (but probably fail) to pay just a little closer attention to the dates on the schedule.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, NFL, Seattle Seahawks, Shellac

In a presser dated August 17th, the Green Bay Packers announced that they would be releasing the often-injured, seldom-spectacular Robert Ferguson. The always kind and polite Packer Hall of Famer Johnny Gray had many good things to say about him, which is I guess what you’re supposed to do after a team finally does what they should have with a sub-par performer.

Gray had mentioned that Ferguson was able to bench press 400 pounds. I guess that’s great if you’re the host of How Much Ya Bench?, but it may not be all that important for a wideout (unless you’re always having to force guys to get up off you).

I remember the clothesline hit in ‘04 put on him by cheap-shotter Donovin Darius - I even sent an email to Tagliabue about it, but like the other text messages, letters and email I sent, all it got me was a visit from the local authorities.

It seemed he was never quite the same after that, using his big pecs to pull in his empty hands instead of the ball when running routes across the middle. Hey, not that I knock him for that. I’d probably want some kevlar and a 9mm if I was running a route through the middle (Oh - I’d also want some speed).

But the job Ferguson was being paid for was to run routes and catch balls despite knowing that he was going to have a beat-down put on his ass as soon as he touched the ball. And he couldn’t do it. Not consistently, anyway.

And so we say farewell to one wide receiver to make room for another. We seem to have a couple nice prospects to fill that roster spot, including Carlyle Holiday and James Jones. If they can be fast, healthy and courageous, they’ll have jobs here.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Robert Ferguson, Sayonara