My Official Green Bay Packers blog

Want to feel old, slow and fat? The next time the Packers Experience rolls into town, take your kids, but take part in the fun yourself.

I don’t know if they still run it this way, but the last time I went (which may have been a decade ago), they had a timed 40-yard dash people could run. Posted next to the clock were the times for several Packer players, the slowest of which was Gilbert Brown, which was in the low 5’s (according to the Packers website Gilbert ran a 5.1 out of college).

Now I don’t eat lightning or crap thunder, but I ran track in high school and was part of our school’s 4×100 team. I was considerably older than high school age when I took in the Packers Experience, and considerably heavier (6′2″ and about 210#). Even so, I could swallow my wife whole and still weigh less than Gilbert Brown - given my age and shape, I figured I’d clock in at around Brett Favre’s time (middle-high 4’s).

I walked up to the line and leaned in, arms hanging loose, head up, ready to fly.  The buzzer went off and I was like a thoroughbred horse shooting out of the gate; hands slicing through the air, the quadriceps in my thighs bulging from their pumping, propelling me those 40 yards as fast as I possibly could.   When I finished, I looked up at my time, displayed next to those times of the Packers.

I was slower than Gilbert Brown.

To me, that says less about how slow I am and more about how fast he really was.  How fast would you be if you strapped an extra 150 pounds to your back?  Could you even run?  This freakin’ guy, the slowpoke of the Packers, could outrun a guy his same height who was more than 120 pounds lighter.

Make no mistake.  To make it in the NFL, you have to be a beast.  Gilbert was a beast.

I recently heard this in the news, but upon doing some research, it’s been in the works awhile: twelve months after Soldier Field re-opened with it’s new, UFO-like outside appearance, a ten member advisory committee voted to strip Soldier Field of it’s status as a national historic landmark.

If you look at the history of Soldier Field, you’ll see it was modeled a bit after greek architecture, reminiscent of the Parthenon. And then to be designated as “Soldier Field”, commemorating all of those brave neighbors of yours and mine who fought in all of our nation’s battles, it was well on it’s way to being among the pantheon of sportsdom.

But then the magic mushroom-influenced team at Wood+Zapata (the architects of the renovation) got hold of that venerable field and were all “Dude, wouldn’t it be awesome if there was like a giant UFO on top of the field? It’d be hella loco, dude. Just like our company’s name. Is that like “wood shoes” in Spanish or something?”

Shortly after re-opening, cloaked clerics came out from their parent’s basements and the few of Marshall Applewhite’s Heaven’s Gate crew who forgot to drink the Kool-aid showed up at the new stadium to worship. It became apparent to Chicagoans that their historical stadium had been turned into something aweful.

Which brings us to today, where we find Soldier Field stripped of it’s membership in any and all historical site lists and groups, but included in most every football stadium punchline. I’m pissed off that this great old stadium that pays tribute to US soldiers has been turned into a steel and glass freak. Our soldiers deserve better.

I also feel for the fans of Chicago sports, and of the Bears in particular. The home of your storied franchise is a building you must now avert your eyes from, for fear of re-opening that wound of embarrassment committed against you by Wood+Zapata, every time you go to a game.

It’s a crime against all that’s good about football. To show my support, I’ve put together a little audio clip to show you Bear fans how most of us football fans to the north feel about what’s happened to your stadium and how it affects your pride in your city and your team.

Click here to listen to my heartfelt audio tribute.

Technorati Tags: Chicago Bears, Soldier Field, Football, NFL, UFO

I’m not the type to get caught up in preseason. There are literally thousands of variables going into every preseason game making the end result virtually indecipherable. The first team offense might be playing the second team defense on the other side of the ball, there may be more starters resting on one side than another, there may be more guys on the verge of being cut and wanting to make a good impression (making them more willing to risk life and limb in a preseason game to show coach that they’re up to the job). Thousands of things. So I don’t want to make too much of this game. My overall impression was that the Steelers had their second and third stringers in the game sooner than the Packers did, so the Packers should have come out on top. The timing of each team’s scores seems to corroborate that theory.

Here’s what we know: Favre and Roethlisberger both looked old and sloppy, like Uncle Louie the morning after a bender. But each was on the field for a scant few minutes, so it’s hard to tell. Charlie Batch, Pittsburgh’s backup QB and former starter for the Detroit Lions looked pretty sharp, but again, was only in for just a short while, turning the reins over to Brian St. Pierre after a few series.

Aaron Rodgers also looked much sharper than in the fleeting moments he’s had on the field in previous games. The cow eyes Rodgers wore in previous games had been replaced with calmer more confident pupils; for the short amount of time I was able to watch the game between children bedtimes and other mundane household stuff, he was making quick decisions and didn’t seem to dance (too much) when he started feeling pressure in the pocket.

And is it me, or did Najeh “The Growler” Davenport look bigger playing against us than he did playing for us? Maybe it was the black unis.

And our secondary. Hmmm.. Didn’t we see enough of the “I thought you had - Am I supposedta - Where’d he go?” show in 2006?

And this brings me to a new feature I’d like to try out this season: The Weekly Enzyte Award*. This award will be given to that Packer player who showed he was a bit more of a man than everyone else on the field.

Again, I was only in front of the tube for a short while, but I believe I heard Cullen Jenkins‘ name called out several times in that short period. He was responsible for the ball strip and fumble recovery early in the game, and just seemed to dominate the line of scrimmage. So he’s my first preseason Enzyte Award winner.

Next week they take on the Philadelphia Eagles at Lambeau Field. Philly will be playing on a short week’s rest, playing Monday night against the Ravens, then Saturday against the Packers.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Preseason, Meaningless, Enzyte

*I have no partnership with Enzyte and as far as I know, am probably infringing on their copyright or trademark or something. I am not benefitting from using the Enzyte name, neither in monetary rewards or free product. Though I wouldn’t mind a little extra respect from the neighbors.