My Official Green Bay Packers blog

We had family flying into town this weekend for an event and when they arrived they told us about how their plane seemed filled with drunken Eagles fans. According to this family member, these fans were doing all they could to try to rub someone the wrong way, almost like they’d gotten an assignment from Tyler Durden to get in a fight with Packer fans.

And if you know that movie, you know the only fight assignment given was to pick a fight and lose. With life imitating art, the Eagles botched their final chance to put away the Pack when J.R. Reed tried to hard to catch a punt and instead bobbled it into the surprised arms of Jarrett Bush. A few plays later the Packers were within field goal range, and Captain Icewater Mason Crosby capped a flawless performance by punching home a 42-yarder with :02 on the game clock. Even with a very high snap, Crosby didn’t get rattled, sauntered up and poked the pigskin through the posts, beating the Eagles 16-13.

Some things to be happy about:

• We beat a team that according to ESPN’s power rankings, we didn’t have any business beating. So far, in expected wins we’re overachieving.
• Favre was masterful with his shuttle-the-ball-while-being-flung-around-like-a-merry-go-round.
• The defense was outstanding. The secondary was still getting exploited, but overall a good offensive team had it’s production line shut down.

Some things to worry about:

• Favre’s ball-winging was lucky. You know you’ve seen those same plays go for seven the other way a hundred times.
• We still don’t have a running game. Why do I have the feeling I’m going to say that a lot this season?
• We need more healthy receivers. Driver was his usual lunch box hero, but Favre needs more than one guy to throw to.
• Daryn Colledge got run over like a penny on train tracks yesterday.

Packer Nation has to feel good about the win, and will get another test to their playoffworthiness next week when they face the Giants, a team that benefitted from fuzzy math to get into the playoffs over the Packers last season, and is coming off a hard-fought loss to the Cowboys in Big D.

I can remember a time not so long ago when I liked Rich Eisen. You know, back when he had hair. Back when he was working for ESPN and had that gee-whiz kidness to him.

Seemed like he fit the role of comedic straight man on that network nicely, and without all the sweet sassy molassy. Then he got the big promotion, headlining the new state-run media outlet for the biggest, most lucrative professional sports league on the planet, NFL Network.

The stress of being the lead media honk for the world’s flagship sports league may have been enough to steal Opie Taylor’s locks from his head. Or maybe it was trying to hide all those bikini photos of hotties like Alycia Lane from his wife.

Nah. It was probably that the NFL Network is not ESPN, where the on-air riffing of sportscasts was both fun and expected. Even though the NFL is staffed by gargantuan men with more tats than an ancient polynesian woman and drive exotic sports cars with vanity plates like “HeHateMe”, that group is pretty stiff when it comes to the image they want spread among their worshippers. Eisen was probably told to keep it short and to the point - football is the product here, Opie. Not Mr. Funny Joke Man.

I don’t receive the NFL Network. And judging from the bits I’ve seen of their anchor, I’m glad. Without a comedic Booyah! sidekick and alleged orders to play things straight, Eisen is just a smoother version of boom goes the dynamite. I mean have a look at his training camp interview with Brett Favre. Could that have sucked more? Was there an original question in there anywhere? Anything we haven’t seen or heard at least 37 other times in local or national sports media?

Rich. Buddy. What you bring to the sports news table they can’t use at NFL Network. They want a video version of John Facenda, and you ain’t it. You’re a good guy, but you’re the adult voice of Opie Taylor, not the Voice of God. And funny is out of the question at NFL Network. Funny was part of your thing.

You should call up old colleagues Craig Kilborn and Keith Olbermann (who’s about to lose his job soon anyway, after getting owned by Chris Collinsworth yesterday (check the 1:28 mark of the video)) and beg to be allowed to fill the spot recently vacated at ESPN by Dan Patrick. You’ll keep a steady job, enjoy it more, and that hair might start growing back on your head. Plus, I can’t stand watching you in your current capacity. It makes me wonder - did you always suck?

Technorati Tags: NFL, NFL Network, Rich Eisen, Sucking the Life Right Out of Football

Last season I started strong, then ended the season with a winning pick percentage of roughly 60%. Apparently, another 4% in the win column and I could charge for my football prognostications.

But I won’t. I like you too much. (Not to mention I appreciate those videos of your wife you sent over. By the way, you have any more?).

So let’s get back to school, getting the season started right with a week of money-making picks. The winners are bold:

NO @ IND
PHI @ GB - The power rankings are messing with my head.
ATL @ MIN
MIA @ WAS
KC @ HOU
PIT @ CLE
TEN @ JAC - Oddsmakers are putting this one at Jacksonville -6 1/2. How they do that when they just dumped their incumbent QB is beyond me. I guess the rest of the team must be pretty good. Ok, I’ll buy it.
DEN @ BUF
CAR @ STL
NE @ NYJ
DET @ OAK - probably the toughest pick of the week. Who wants it less?
TB @ SEA
CHI @ SD
NYG @ DAL
BAL @ CIN
ARI @ SF

This week has the makings of a bloodbath, with oddsmakers keeping the point spreads at 3 or under for 9 of the 16 games.  What I’m saying is, don’t get your remortgage-the-house-for-a-shot-at-big-money freak on this week.

Technorati Tags: NFL, Week1, Football Picks, Back In The High Life Again