Packer Backer BrauI’ve always believed that there are secret illuminati types that have made being a Packer fan in Wisconsin an unwritten law. When I first moved here 14 or so years ago, I was pretty sure I unwittingly joined a cult. “Dude, you wanna come to our Packer party? You know God loves the Packers. God wants to love you, too. C’mon over - we’ll have some locally brewed beer made from special ingredients for you when you get here.”

I mean, seriously - the women here know more about football than most men in other NFL franchise markets. So when I heard that little Johnny* Kowald didn’t want to be a Packer fan, I knew he was in trouble.

His father, following what he thought was Packer doctrine, began the fan conversion process, including tying his son up and taping a Packer jersey to him. Police were promptly called and dad Kowald was put in jail, tentatively charged with a felony.

Meanwhile, I’ve been in a happy place ever since that first Packer party. In fact, I need to get to my daily meditation right now.

Faaavre, Staaarrrrrr, Lombaaaardiiii, Faaaavre, Staaaarrrr, Lombaaaardiiii….

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*May or may not be child’s name. I just took a guess.