The Packers have a 20-year history of picking up quarterbacks on the cheap. They acquired Brett Favre from Atlanta for a draft pick and some Pokemon cards. They got Aaron Rodgers after draft-day geniuses like the Detroit Lions (perennial selectors of wide receivers and always quarterback deficient) opted not to take the projected early selection, letting him drop to 24th overall, where the Packers snatched him up.
Day 1 of the 2008 NFL draft was no different, with the Packers using their second pick to draft Brian Brohm out of Louisville, a guy who comes from a long familial football heritage. Brohm has gone under the knife several times in his collegiate career, but as we learned last year, Ted Thompson fears no torn ligament nor broken bone. A little duct tape and vicodin and anyone can play like Farve.
*sigh* I’m going to be honest with you. I try to get revved up about the draft, but when the Packers’ first pick doesn’t happen until the end of the first round or start of the second, you know the Packers won’t be making any picks with WOW factor. And Ted Thompson has shown himself to not be a flashy playmaker, either on draft day or in free agency. He’s more of a grinder, looking to pick up undiscovered talent or get slightly better than he gives when swapping picks or players. Blockbuster deals just aren’t his style.
Lick the back of that and stick it to the fact that there really weren’t any superstar offensive talents in the draft this year, and the 2008 draft looks to me a lot like fantasy football; unless the fantasy includes Heidi Klum and Naomi Campbell clad in just cleats and helmets, it’s two days of masturbation (and if it does include those two ladies, it probably still is).
The proof is ultimately in the pudding, and those ingredients won’t start getting mixed together until August. Whether those new guys and any free agent pickups turn out to be coachable and worthy of a roster spot won’t be known until then. Hell, the 2005 NFL MVP Shaun Alexander was cut by the Seahawks, so even proven talent can turn to shit given a little time.
So to recap, the Packers drafted a couple QB’s, a couple wideouts and a tight end, two O lineman, a cornerback and a defensive end. Whoopedeedoop.
For those of you that don’t live in the greater northern tundra, or if you’re just a Brett Favre/Green Bay Packer fan, you have to watch this video. If you’ve never been here, this is pretty much what everyone sounds like when they talk. Just not as melodic. And usually uglier (sorry folks, truth is truth - look at my pic).
I’m ambivalent about posting this video, given my previous post and current mental health state caused by Favre’s recent appearance on David Letterman. But whatever, the song is cool, so we’ll let it ride.
You may or may not have heard - Brett Favre was on David Letterman last night. I didn’t know about it until this morning when the local news crews, starving for anything newsworthy beyond yet another report claiming that Wisconsin drinks and drivesmore than anyone on the planet, showed a snippet of Dave’s interview and some predictable me-maw commentary about whether he was retired or not.
And then I heard Bob and Brian talking about the interview, and it stirred me up enough to watch the interview myself (I didn’t see it last night).
Now, I’m convinced Brett Favre is my slutty ex-girlfriend. When Favre was asked to his face if he was retired, he’d say he absolutely was, loved it in Green Bay, and if he was playing, he’d play here. When I asked my slutty ex-girlfriend if she was done fucking other guys, she’d say absolutely, that she loved me, and if she was going to fuck someone, it would be me.
And then there was word that Bus Cook was shopping Favre around, just to see if there was any interest. “Absolutely not!” Favre responded “I don’t know where that information came from. I’m off the market.” When I asked my slutty ex-girlfriend about a friend’s story that she was shopping her cooch around, she replied “Absolutely not! I don’t know where that information came from. My cooch is off the market.”
In the end, I broke up with my slutty ex-girlfriend. A few months later there were “friends” popping up everywhere saying “Dude. I heard she was fucking other guys and didn’t know how to tell you. Everybody knew it.” So when the NFL preseason rolls around and there’s a dude looking for some cooch team looking for a quarterback, I’m not going to be surprised when Favre rolls out of a locker room wearing navy blue and orange, or maybe even purple. My hope is that if he comes back, it’s for the Lions, and he gets his knees crushed in a broken play. Kind of like my slutty ex-girlfriend, who got her knees scraped up when I accidentally dragged her behind my car for a few miles. (Kidding - it was like two city blocks, tops.)
Here’s the interview:
P.S. - Mom, if you happen to read this, sorry about the foul language, but Brett Favre is being a real fucker. Dammit! Sorry again, mom.
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