Attention, all you purveyors of short, numbered sections of hard aluminum benches. I need to sell you on a killer idea. I know, you’re usually accustomed to doing the selling, whether it be tickets to Packer games at Lambeau Field, or for the road warriors (or far-flung fans) who want to see the Pack when they make their appearance at non-Wisconsin NFL venues.

But if you buy my idea, I can guarantee a 30% increase in people looking to buy Green Bay Packers tickets from you.* Everyone wins. Here’s the idea: when you approach me about promoting your company (and you know you will, you check in every year), be sure that the offer you make includes at least one pair of tickets to a Green Bay Packer game. Because you know where the best place is to watch Packer games? It’s not on the crapper with the handheld 3″ LCD, suffering after a night of pickled eggs and chili. It’s Lambeau Field, where you can watch the game live while sitting on assbone-crunching aluminum benches. The seats would really hurt if everyone wasn’t already stone drunk, but since they are (and a few bucks buys will buy you ass-cushion rental), it’s all good. Another perk of seeing a game live? Some of the people there are worth watching. And one other thing? The game’s pretty damn good, too.

I say I’d want at least one pair of tickets because I’d give away the first pair to some lucky reader of this blog. Wha you say? Publicity stunt? Sure. Stupid? Two scoops, please. But like I’ve said before, I’m a giver. The perks of a ticket giveaway: I’d blog about the ticket giveaway (and the great company that provided the tickets), and for the second pair of tickets I’d blog about how much fun I had at the game, watching a new QB lead the team, motorboating the bikini girls (or the fat dude with the C cups two rows down), that kind of stuff.  Stuff That Sells Tickets.

So bake those tickets into your offer and you’ll have yourselves some sweet promotional action. And don’t tell me you don’t have the authority. Who wears the pants over there, anyway?

*Sales increase figure was extracted from ass area and may not be representative of actual sales increase.

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