I would imagine that it’s hard not to think of yourself as the King (thankyehvurrymuch) of Green Bay. From the moment he filled in for the injured Don Majkowski in September of ‘92 (and conducted his first of 40 come-from-behind/OT wins), Brett Favre has been treated like royalty. As he was winning, putting the shine back into the Titletown moniker, he tore up the town and even the state with his drinking and pills. And you’ve gotta believe that when he ran with former buddy Mark Chmura that they tapped more than just kegs. But as long as the Packers kept winning, he still sat atop his throne, answering to none.

Or so he thought. What Favre didn’t realize is that he didn’t own the title to the throne he sat on. It was leased, just like the ones built for Montana, Elway and Starr. And when the lease is up, the throne is disassembled, turned to velvet scraps and kindling while a new, royal ass-holder is commissioned for the incoming King of Titletown. So when Favre’s reign as king was over, with the title also went Green Bay’s willingness to overlook all those things we’d overlooked in the past. When Brett used a Packer-issue cell phone to call Vikings coaching staff, he either was not smart enough to realize that the phone records could be checked and his cheatin’ ass would be ratted out, or he thought he was still King of Titletown, The Man Who Can Do No Wrong. But he did plenty wrong.

  • It’s reported that Deanna Favre is unhappy with Packer management (what’s new) that somehow Brett was “being played” over the weekend with the will he/won’t he show up for training camp hoopla. Huh? Whatever. When he had his 13-part interview with Greta Van Susteren, he forgot to mention any of the secret communications via text and cell phone with Vikings’ coaching staff. I mean, in that interview he did say he wanted to lay out the whole truth, right? So is the current truth, as Favre is saying now, that he just made repeated calls and texts to Brad Childress to find out if Childress thought he should still play? Really? Does it go something like this? beep-boop-boop - Hi, Brad Childress? This is Brett Favre. Do you think I’m still good enough to play? Okthxbye. boop-beep-boop - Hi Rod Marinelli? Am I still able to fool your corners with my no-look passes? boop-boop-beep - Lovey? Is Brian still wishing I’d retire? And then he’d start all over with Childress? Shut the eff up, Brett. Either he’s lying, or he’s a 12-year-old girl in need of constant reassurance. Oh yeah, that’s right.
  • That Brett would do this, talk to a team within our own division, one of our biggest rivals, speaks to what Favre really thinks about the people in Green Bay. He’d just as soon stab you in the face as play for your team.
  • There was other stuff, too. A lot of it. But I’m just so tired of this and I’m pretty lazy, so I’ll stop listing stuff now.

And why is it that Favre isn’t showing up to camp? Hold on there, speed racer. You’re screaming “Because Ted Thompson told him not to” at the monitor and getting spit all over everything. Go get a paper towel and settle down. What I’m driving at is this: for all of Favre’s physical tenacity, I think the guy really, really hates interpersonal conflict. That’s why he uses his mommy and brudders to leak word about being angry about the Randy Moss no-deal, his unretirement and his second unretirement. For all the beatings he took at the hands of guys twice his size, terse words might be Favre’s biggest fear. Because if he’s really tough, I’m thinking he faxes in his letter on Friday and shows up at the Don Hutson center at mid-day on Saturday and says to Thompson: I’m here. Deal with it.

But he didn’t, either because personal conflict is scarier to him than 400 pound D-lineman who can run as fast as he does, or he really is just trying to keep this as calm and civil as possible for the Packer organization. And that’s about as plausible as the Packers wanting to protect Favre’s legacy. Favre went on freaking Greta’s show to spill as many beans as he had so he could cast himself in a good light. And he’s the first to the media whenever he and Thompson discuss anything. Do not misconstrue - Favre is looking out for Favre. And it’s unseemly to see a former King flailing in the mud like this.

Before I wrap this up, a couple other notes - in my interaction with John Q Packerbacker, there seems to be a class split in how people feel about the Favre/Packer ordeal. If you’re a person who has ever been responsible for anything, like a staff of a few (or many) people, ran a crew, or in general your job included managing egos, you’re siding with the Packers. If you earn your living at the bottom of the totem pole, responsible only for what your own two hands get done in a day (unable to see the big picture, maybe?), you’re siding with Favre, and usually talking about how the Packers owe something to Brett. Like he’s entitled to something more. Entitlement in most of it’s forms is for the weak and the lazy, waiting for a handout. You get what you get, and if you don’t like it, go out and get something else, but don’t lie around bitching about wouldas and shouldas. Brett Favre has amassed bazillions because Ron Wolf took a chance on a reckless gamer. If Jerry Glanville had had his way, Favre would never have seen the playing field on Sundays. And Holmgren reined him in to make him the QB he became. But that’s all a part of football, and nobody owes anyone else a damn thing, except to honor your contracts.

Oh, and it’s good to see national sports talk guys coming around to my way of thinking. It seems as though Steve Czaban drank the Kool-Aid on my Hillbilly Orchestra theory. He didn’t give me credit, of course, but chug the Kool-Aid he did. Big choking gulps, in front of millions of Wisconsin listeners of the Bob and Brian show. Welcome aboard, Czabe.

Oh yea - and the Packers aren’t going to have that whole retirement ceremony thing. Glad they took my advice.

As Player #2 in the Brotherhood Fellowship basketball tournament in White Men Can’t Jump might say - “This is too damn easy.”

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