In Fight Club, Tyler Durden (Ed Norton’s character before he realized HE was Tyler Durden), facing the prospect of losing his job because of a failing work ethic, inattentiveness and general bloodiness, proposes company blackmail to his boss: the company will pay Durden 52 weeks of severance, plus computer hardware, plus flight coupons, and in exchange he won’t go to the media with what he knows about a Big 3 automaker. When the boss rejects the offer and picks up the phone to call security, Durden kicks his own ass in his boss’s office, making it look like the boss did it. It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen, with two security guards as witnesses, unless his boss caves to his demands. Fade to next scene.

Tyler Durden whistling through bloodied lips, pushing a shopping cart full of hardware and flight coupons. We have sponsorship.

As ridiculous as that would be in the real world, this scenario’s skanky cousin is playing out in real life in Green Bay, with the Packers reportedly offering Brett Favre $20 million over 10 years to refrain from paying football. That’s right. All Brett has to do is not play professional football and he collects over $5,000 a day, every day, for the next ten years.

Are Fight Club franchises in Brett’s future? He’s already created his own Project Mayhem right here in Green Bay, so his plate may be full.

I’ve never heard of anything like this in professional sports. Paying a guy NOT to play. This of course makes the Packers look ridiculous, but before I criticize the Packers, I need to say a few things. The reason this is as ugly as it is is completely on Brett’s shoulders. Messing with the fortunes of an entire sports franchise with his coin-toss indecision has shown that Brett has put his personal needs far above the team. Wait until training camp to decide whether he wants to play? Sure, Brett. And we’ll just have Superman stop the Earth’s rotation so you can have some extra time to mull things over.

And I am still critical of Favre for not just showing up at training camp and forcing the Packers to deal with it. If he had half the stones he thinks he has, he’d do just that, instead of all this passive-aggressive, behind your back undermining of the organization. Time to man up.

But the Packers are looking batshit crazy in their stubbornness, preferring to pay Favre millions to sit out than to hold a clipboard, or trade him somewhere else. Ok fine, the Packers have zero leverage in trade talks because they know the Packers don’t want Favre and Favre doesn’t appear to want the Packers, either. But their comes a time when you have to cut your losses. Don’t cut him loose, mind you. Trade him. And don’t let him go so cheaply that another team can afford to hold onto him just long enough to field offers from Minnesota and Chicago, giving the Packers the Worst Outcome Possible. But don’t insist on a first round pick for compensation; take a second rounder, maybe a couple third round picks. But whatever you do, get him out. Otherwise, the Hillbilly Brigade led by Favre and Jeff Vanvonderen look-alike Bus Cook will be marching all over Green Bay for the next 4 months. And we don’t want that kind of feet stank all over our streets now, do we?

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