So I’m watching television tonight (I love me some Intervention - nothing makes me feel like my life rocks more than watching someone huffing Rustoleum until they’re blue in the face. Seriously. Face was all blue. From the paint. See? Your life rocks too, doesn’t it?), and there’s another commercial for a cellphone company - T-Mobile. Their latest ad campaign is of people saying “hello” when normally they’d say “goodbye.” A cute girlfriend tearfully says hello as her boyfriend climbs into his car and drives away. The kids say hello to dad as he leaves for work. A quarterback says that after 17 years in the NFL, it’s time to say hello. (Cue the needle scratching a record)

I guess if you learn what’s right and wrong on dirt streets in Mississippi, you probably shouldn’t be expected to know what a slap in the face this is. Favre jerks around his team and the Packer fan base, spiraling year after year into indecision about whether he’s going to return, then he retires, unretires, retires again, then kinda unretires, then finally gets on a chartered jet to come up for training camp. Like a snake on a plane. Where’s Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?

All jokes aside - this was in very poor taste, Brett. You pulled a months-long diva act, holding the Packers and your fans for ransom for months (and seasons), and now you’re making money from your period of indecision, all while poking fun at us by appearing in this commercial. I am embarrassed. Embarrassed to think I was a fan of yours. Embarrassed to know that you’ll be welcomed back into the fold. Did you ask OJ Simpson about how to go about cashing in on your public misdeeds? ‘Cause that’s how this thing feels to me.

For a guy who’s not about the money, it sure looks like you’re willing to burn just about anyone to get a little more of it. How you don’t walk away from this commercial offer given the things you know the fans in Wisconsin have been saying about all of this is something I don’t think I could understand. Maybe if I had $50M in cash and assets and had surrounded me with all lovers of Me, it’d be hilarious. But I’m closer to $50K in assets, so this reads like a Leona Helmsley bio to me.

Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpb.  Ptui!

Ok, I got some of that out of my system. My dad always taught me that if I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem. And I want to help get this problem solved. What can I say? I’m a giver. And I have a possible solution. By doing this Brett will provide some much-needed goodwill to the local fans. Here’s the plan: cop to making a media rookie move and make a written pledge to donate the money you made from the T-Mobile campaign to some local charity. As in Wisconsin charity. Pretty simple, right? And since he’s going to make $13M just from the Packers this year, it’s a safe bet that he can afford it. Who knows how much he’ll make from Wrangler, Prilosec, Bergstrom Automotive, Remington, Snapper Mowers and Mastercard, but I think Brett could prahhhhbably afford to miss out on the T-Mobile booty.

So what do you say, Brett? Are you on board with this, or do I need to superimpose your face on a pretty little sun dress to do my version of poking fun at your indecision, then send it to the Big O for a media blitz?

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