It appears the gunslinger has found his rightful home; on a team that to win he’s gotta punch holes in the end zone like he’s firing a tommy gun. Yesterday the Cardinals obliged, giving Favre the field position of college overtime football for the better part of the day. Though he put up respectable passing yardage (289), his output was dwarfed by Kurt Warner’s total (468). Even so, Favre threw for a record six touchdowns in the 56-35 anvil job of the Cards.
The week before, Favre’s gun must have had squib loads as he would have needed another 6 TD night to top the Chargers. Live by the pistola, die by the pistola.
With Tom Brady out, the Colts looking very mediocre and the Chargers running at a mere 11 volts, the AFC is wide open. Ripe fruit for a veteran picker (or pick thrower) like Favre. Now if he can just avoid having to play in any really big games until the Superbowl, then the Jets are totally in this.
The Jets have two weeks to prepare a pistola whipping at home against the Bangles. They better not pull any blind side blitzes on Susanna Hoffs. She knows how to strum an instrument, too.
Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Former Quarterback, New York Jets, Brett Favre, Ocho Cinco, Lead Singer for the Cincinnati Bangles
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Was coach McCarthy talking about depth of insertion when he was talking about “pad level” during preseason? Because watching the way the Tampa Bay Buccaneers manhandled our LB’s and DB’s, I coulda swore I saw vuhginas out there. It seemed that every running back in silver and red that touched the ball would be able to stiff-arm his way past at least 3 Packer defenders and gain at least seven yards on every touch. Do our guys not like contact? Are they suffering from Short Arm Disease, unable to wrap anyone up because their elbows are connected to their shoulders?
Maybe someone switched the “How To Tackle” training video with game film of the Detroit Lions. Those guys bounce off running backs like quarters off Pam Anderson’s overstuffed breasts. Boing. Boing.
Thank God Brian Griese was Brian Griese and threw three picks over a span of 15 minutes or this game would have been way more lopsided.
And with the Packers offense floundering this week and Brett Favre throwing for six touchdowns (despite throwing for less than 300 yards in offense), I’m sure the Favries will be out in force this week, hair-pulling themselves bald for Thompson trading him to the Jets. I’m sure that if FireTedThompson.com wasn’t already being squatted by a useless domain hoarder, traffic to the site would be off the charts today.
But having Favre wouldn’t have mattered. There were rumblings from Tony (Bag-o-Hammers) Siragusa that Packer receivers weren’t finishing their routes. While I didn’t see that, I did see a revival of my abilities to crush full cans of soda in my living room, watching receivers drop balls just like Freeman did for awhile in the 90’s.
And then there’s the punisher. The guy who said before Week 2 that when he’s carrying the ball he doesn’t like to go out of bounds; he prefers to turn it upfield and lay some wood on opposing DB’s. As it turns out, he said he doesn’t like to go out of bounds because he could never make it out of bounds. Just coverin’ his ass is all. He’s slow and couldn’t break a French pastry let alone a tackle. Though we would have had to pay more up front and guaranteed more, do you know we could’ve had Michael Turner instead of Ryan Grant this year? Both got 6 year deals potentially worth $30M-$35M. Where Grant ran 16 carries for 20 yards against the Lions, Turner took 22 carries for 220 yards and two touchdowns against our division rivals. I know, I know. Those extra six carries were big ones, right?
If Thompson should shoulder some blame, it’s for not having his eye on the ball with the running back situation during the Favre Chronicles. Now we have a guy who can’t gain us a yard when we need it.
And then Matt Flynn had to enter the game and I lost control of my bowels. Good thing I watch the games from the bathroom. I’m like a boy scout the way I’m prepared for anything. Got my “Shitting Myself” patch when I was 13.
With the Bears slugging it out with the Eagles as I type, having beaten the Bucs the week before, the Redskins beating the ‘Boys, the Titans undefeated (we see them in wk 9), the outlook for the Packers is starting to look scary. Rodgers better get healthy (along with the majority of the secondary), and Grant better start lubing his pads with vaseline before games or we might not gain another 100 yards all season, and that’ll be the GOOD offensive stat.
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Picking against the spread blows. Last week I went 8-8 against it.
Here’s week 4. Winners (in theory) are bold:
ATL @ CAR
CLE @ CIN
HOU @ JAC
DEN @ KC
SF @ NO
ARI @ NYJ
GB @ TB
MIN @ TEN
SD @ OAK
BUF @ STL
WAS @ DAL
PHI @ CHI
BAL @ PIT
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