PHI @ CIN – Philly’s giving nine, but my Magic 8-ball says they’re gonna roll after getting punched in the face last week.
DEN @ ATL – I keep waiting for the Falcons to come back to earth. Broncos can’t fly, so I don’t expect them to be able to do the job.
OAK @ MIA – Last year this would have been the Battle for the Basement. This year? Just a notch in a dolphin-skin belt.
HOU @ IND – Feelin’ good at home after a good roadie to Pittsburgh
NO @ KC – Herm Edwards has all the guys wearing T-shirts that say Refuse to Lose. The itchy Chinese fibers work against Edwards and the Chiefs, lose again.
CHI @ GB – The perfect matchup – Chicago’s great run defense against a shitty running game, and a crap Bear secondary against a receiver corps with all the tools. It’s a big game, so expect McCarthy to stick a hypodermic full of laughing juice in his brain and decide to resurrect the Ryan Grant “Run Straight Into the Pile” ground game. You might also expect to see a circle path word around the turf at McCarthy’s feet as Lovey Smith again out-thinks the Packer coaches. Yeah, I picked the Packers to win. I took a hit from McCarthy’s juice bottle.
MIN @ TB – The Bucs do what the Packers couldn’t.
DET @ CAR – I don’t think Detroit covered last week, but they’ve tended to do well against big-ass spreads. Like that girl Rhonda I dated tears ago. Big, had the spread, and I did pretty well.
STL @ SF – Expect a dancing, naked chorus line from the Singletary staff if the Niners are losing at halftime.

TEN @ JAC – Why do I think DelRio will be able to get his guys ready for a game as big as this? Because I’m not very good at making picks, that’s why.
DAL @ WAS – Payback.
CLE @ BUF – oops! Forgot this one.

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