Yeah, I haven’t been around much.

I’ve had issues.

Issues that require IV lines filled with fabulous, fabulous drugs.  So now I’m back.  Kinda.  Still working on the new blog theme.  Almost done.  Good thing, seeing as the season’s over, I’m sure you’re saying to yourself.  Your problem?  You talk to yourself too much.  You should be talking about Dom Capers.

As announced today somewhere, the man with a comb-over to rival Donald Trump, and a dye-job that makes even Keith Hernandez and Clyde Frazier wince a little, Dom Capers, the architect of the 1996 Carolina Panthers run to the NFC Championship (where they were promtply knee-capped on frigid Lambeau field), and unfortunately, also the architect of the short, steep spiral into the conference basement afterward, has been hired as the new defensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers.

In 2006, the Capers-led Dolphin defense was ranked fourth in the NFL (that was the year he was hired).  In 2007, his defense ranked 23rd.  So uh, there’s that.

But wait.  He was head coach for the expansion Houston Texans from ‘02-’05.  He was fired after a 2-14 ‘05 season, but I bet that defense kicked ass.

Oh, wait.  It was ranked 31st. It’s still 32 teams in the NFL, right?

He’s 58, which means that if Rookie from WDUZ The Fan is right and he really has been coaching in the NFL for 38 years, that would mean Capers began coaching in the NFL when he was, wait lemme subtract the… carry the…  twenty.  Twenty years old.  Rookie?  Math smarts of a DJ, my friend.

Anyway, when I first heard the news, I thought a grizzled old vet would be a nice bit of experience to have on the squad, but now that I look at his resume, I’m not so sure.

Doods?  Jim Bates looks like he’s available.

Just an idea.

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