Favre’s Parting Gift to Mangini
So the NFL is conducting a probe into why Brett Favre didn’t appear on the New York Jets injury report as “probable” for the last few weeks of the 2008 season. Rules are rules, and Roger Goodell wants to make sure everyone is playing by the same ones.
Am I the only one that doesn’t get this? I’ve been scouring the web for the last half hour to find pR0ñ the NFL’s Injury Report Rules, and I’ve seen the words Cover Up and Scandal plastered all over various football websites.
Really? This is a big scandal? Brett Favre had an owie and played the next week? My shape is closer to a football than a football player, but I know that every single week, every active player in the NFL is playing through some kind of pain. You think Donald Driver isn’t feeling it on Monday morning after spending Sunday afternoon running crossing routes through the middle? You think Allen Barbre’s tailbone isn’t in excruciating pain after getting knocked on his ass all day Sunday?
Favre’s injury was not so severe that he required surgery as soon as the season was over. In fact, it was only after months of rest and stretching didn’t work that Favre opted for surgery to release that last bit of gristle holding his biceps tendon in place. But Favre is intimating that he didn’t feel up to playing, and was pressured into active service by then-coach Mangini and GM Mike Tannenbaum. This is the same Brett Favre that played through a concussion haze back in ’04 to try to win a game at Lambeau against the Giants. A guy who, in order to stay on the field, took enough drugs to make even the counselors on Intervention blush.
Using my powers of reduction and deduction, I think I know what really went on. You watched football on Sunday, right? Do you remember who the Vikings played? The Browns you say? Interesting. Who’s the head coach for those Cleveland Browns? You don’t say! Eric Mangini? The former coach of the New York Jets?
Do you think it’s pure coincidence that this story got legs just as teams were preparing for their week 1 games? That Favre didn’t know he was going to be playing against his former coach and just lucked into a way to fuck with him, forcing him to divert his attention away from the task at hand, coaching?
No my friends, this was not dumb luck. This was premeditated, intended to give the Vikings any little scrap of advantage they could get, even at the expense of looking like scumbags. But in all honesty, I’m not sure Brett Favre is smart enough to hatch this plan. No, I think someone more familiar with the intricacies of the NFL injury report rules, with all of his job security chips pushed onto a single number before the big roulette wheel spin would be behind something like this. The only person I know of who might be smart enough and underhanded enough to try this is Favre’s current coach, Brad “Chilly” Childish.
So to Commissioner Goodell I would advise that Mangini should be released for time served. Defining 75% odds that a player will be ready to play (which is the NFL’s definition of “probable”) has got to be a crapshoot at best, and with Brett Favre, everyone knows 50% is as good as 100% when it comes to the likelihood that he’ll play. So Childish and Favre had their fun and got to force the opposing team’s coach to spend time away from the film room.
Let this thing go. [But be sure to watch for that manilla folder landing on your desk in early October. I have it on good authority that there are pictures in that folder of Brad Childress partying with tub girl.* WARNING: DO NOT GOOGLE TUB GIRL]
*statement may not be accurate.