Charles Woodson’s going to be shopping for trophies this year.

And yeah, “trophies” could mean shrunken quarterback heads skewered on spikes around his locker.  It could also mean that for the remaining five weeks of the season Woodson’s going to be looking to add more intercepted footballs to his rapidly growing collection.  And that one’s probably true.

But I’m thinking bigger.

If Woodson were a Nascar driver, he could coast to claim the cup as the best year of his career simply by finishing top 30 these last five contests.  He’s been a Pro Bowl selection five times, yet his stats this year are jaw-dropping.

  • In 2004 Woodson recorded 58 tackles (most for his career).
  • Through 11 weeks of this season, he has 54.
  • In 2006, his first year with the Packers, Woodson collected a career-best 8 stray balls from quarterbacks.
  • This year he has 7 so far.
  • Last year he scored two touchdowns.  Most of his career.
  • He has two this year, too.
  • In 2002 with the Raiders Woodson racked up 4 forced fumbles, again a career best.
  • He has 4 this year, so far.
  • Last season he had 3 sacks, his best year, and this year he has 2 so far.

Unfortunately the NFL doesn’t collect stats for the “burned for a big play” category, otherwise I could make that comparison, too.  But here’s what data I can collect and interpret:  Last year Woodson defended 17 passes.  That means he interrupted a pass that would otherwise have been a completion.  This year he only defended 11.  To me, that means all the picks and other batshit crazy stats Woodson’s been piling up have been done with fewer opportunities to do so.

Say what you want about the cocksucker from Minnesota,* Woodson’s been having as dominant a year as anyone on the defensive side of the ball in the NFL.

And to top it off he just pledged a $2 million donation to the U of M Children’s hospital.  Has the other cocksucker from Minnesota ever done that?  Woodson should rent himself a truck when the time comes to pass out all the shiny trophies at the end of the season, because he’s gonna need it to hold all the injection-molded plastic glued to marble that he’ll be receiving.

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*You totally thought I was talking about Favre, didn’t you.