Sorry You Had to Travel All This Way for Nothing
It was a tight game between the Packers and the Zebras, as we expected. The Zebras were impressive both on offense and defense, racking up what has to be a near-record 310 yards. And considering the Zebras’ team is usually built from six old, white men who don’t wear pads, the show they put on Monday night was particularly impressive. But they were not to be topped by the Packers, who eclipsed the Zebras production by 40 yards, with 256 in the air, the rest on the ground. The Baltimore Ravens came up short in this three-team contest, collecting only 185 yards in offense on Flacco’s awful 15 of 36 passing with three picks.
So to Ray Rice, the man who hates football, and the rest of the Baltimore Ravens team, who got on a plane and came all the way over here, hoping for a little football love but getting none, I say bye bye, blackbird.
Author’s note: It’s been a weird day and this post probably reflects that. I would have posted something to include Joe Cocker’s You Can Leave Your Hat On, which is also an awesome song, but it didn’t feel as apropos. “And that’s all I have to say about that.” -Forrest Gump