Holy Shit, Y’all! Football!
Fuck, it feels like I’ve been asleep forever.
Let’s see, when last I was awake, there was a young guy who did this weird thing where he cut his hair like characters in old movies, taking over for a legend at quarterback. A legend who left Titletown in an effort to come back and stick it to his former boss.
But he was retiring. Or maybe not. And Brad Childress, coach for the Vikings, was trying to coax the old bird out of retirement for one more run at Lombardi.
But he had some surgery issue.
Nah, he wasn’t gonna play.
Or maybe he was.
And the fans in Minnesota waited with bait breath while he toyed with them, skipping practices, training camp, hoping to get his ego stroked like the pigskin of a lottery winner in the VIP room of a strip club.
So it looks like I haven’t missed any of the 2009 season, then. Great!