Last Time This Happened? Somebody Got Fired on Monday.
I think Tom Coughlin needs to institute a game day ball punch policy for every ball dropped or intercepted. Ball gets punched out? You get your balls punched out.
So. The Packers delivered another high-powered offensive show and married it to a defensive asphyxiation of the opponent. Gave it to ’em hard and fast with their hands around her neck, so she couldn’t breat… oh, wait. I’m just, uh, nevermind.
The performance left me feeling a lot like Monty Burns after discovering his plot to dominate the Springfield energy market. Egggsellent.
But it’s not all milk and honey. There’s some bees and vinegar. Or is it piss and vinegar? Patayto-potahto.
My hit list from the game:
Donald Driver. Still got it.
Greg Jennings. Still really good, and for more than the home run ball.
John Kuhn. He’s a fan fave for a reason, people.
Brandon Jackson. He could find the pile from 20 yards blindfolded. That’s gotta be worth something. Just not in the NFL.
Kick returns. Catch the ball, pick a lane, run North. Those are the only three things. No East-West. No shimmy. No motherfucking shake. Catch ball, pick lane, run North. Fast.
Thank god the game wasn’t close, so the Packers didn’t have to rely on McCarthy managing wee seconds at the end of the game. That’s the formula, I think: get a 20+ point lead on every team and keep it. I know. I’m a genius.
Clay Matthews. One team with consecutive Defensive Players of the Year? I’m thinking yes.
Des Bishop. Worthy starter. Earned his spot.
Jordy Nelson. Goddammit, man. Hang onto the ball.
Aaron Rodgers. Thanks for sliding.
There’s more, but I’m full on Christmas turkey and beers. Sleepy.
Good game, boys. But all it means is that now you have to win one more game to make the playoffs. Nobody’s crowning your ass. Got it?