Corvette vs Hummer

Superman vs The Hulk

The contrast in these two quarterbacks deserves a close look.

In the past I’ve referred to Aaron Rodgers as a robot, and I meant it as a compliment. Mostly. You remember that guy in high school or college that always seemed like he had the tiger by the tail? Always seemed to make the right moves with the profs, always had cash, always had a pretty girl on his arm.  Some time during this season or last, the story came out that Rodgers looked into the lives of the referees that’d be officiating Packer games, so that he could engage them in conversation before and during the game, the idea being you make friends with them and it’s just natural that they’ll be the tiniest bit less likely to make a call against the Packers.  And in that flash of an instant, when a ref is deciding who jumped offsides? Maybe the call goes the Packers way.

It’s like Rodgers always makes the right moves. He’s calculated the probabilities and tendencies and taken the tack that’s most likely to lead him to what he’s after.

Like a robot.

Ben Roethlisberger I’d liken to something more like Frank, the angry combine in the kids movie Cars.  He’s not precalculating moves, premeditating on the social engineering of a team of referees. He’s more brawn than brains. Make no mistake: he’s good.  And in fact, he possesses that one characteristic I wish Rodgers appeared to have - that Hulk mentality, where his passion and desire for a certain outcome makes him bigger and stronger than he already is, capable of forcing his will on the other team, no matter the odds against it.

And Roethlisberger is friggin’ huge. Linebackers are sometimes at a size disadvantage when trying to bring down Big Ben, getting shoved to the ground with a quick stiff arm like I do when my kids want my ice cream sandwiches.

Rodgers is better on the scramble. Rodgers probably has at least 30 IQ points on Roethlisberger. And his EQ is probably just as superior.  He keeps the shit in his head tight.

They’re both prototypical quarterbacks - one for his composure, intellect and athleticism, one for his hulking mass and undying desire to win.

And not that this is a measure of a good QB, but a review of the dating habits of the two is equal in it’s contrast.  Rodgers has been seen with the likes of Erin Andrews, Jessica Szohr, Hillary Scott and Julie Henderson. Roethlisberger has been seen forcing his cock in the faces of unwilling college coeds.

Clearly, one of these guys has their act together more than the other.

So we’ll see which superhero takes the day this Sunday.

I’m pulling for Superman.

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