My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

I’ve been hearing a lot about the Packers and their status as odds darling in the NFC this year. During the Indy preseason game I heard “Superbowl preview.”

I’ve also heard “Favorite to win the NFC.”

I’ve also heard “I thought you said you had a condom on!!!!!” But that was a completely different conversation.

Lemme just say this: Slow down, football prognostibaters. I know that part of the media’s job is to manufacture drama when there isn’t any (which is why Brett Favre is a five-time Daytime Emmy winner), and making predictions of anything other than Mr. T’s one of “pain,” is just nonsense. Pants-dropping, tissue-gobbing nonsense.

Makes me wonder if the Green Bay Packer Bikini Girls have been on a cheese curd facial tour of Big Media to try to win over the hearts and, uh, other stuff of the sports reporters. (Girls? Free tip: Skip Jay Mariotti. He likes the boys.)

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If Brett Favre knew the guy that was chosen over him as the signal caller in Green Bay, casting him aside like turkey lunch meat when it gets old and has that slimy film on it? He’d be turning in his grave.

What’s that you say? Favre isn’t dead? Didn’t he live to be an old grandpa, only to die on some southern dirt road in a tragic head-on collision with a Wrangler jeans truck? No? Shit, that kinda blows this whole post then, doesn’t it.

Whatever. Rodgers is on the SI cover. He’s one of five QBs appearing nationally on the cover this week. And none of the other four wear number four.

Suck it, grandpa Favre.

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You be the nine. You know, curl up like you’re in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, in fear of the idea of having to get with me again.

That’s gotta be how the Colts felt after the Packers shoved their fat, uh, football right up the backside of the Colts defense.

That Ted Thompson. What a moron. I swear if that stupid shit worked for the 49ers, he’d have replaced Joe Montana with Steve Young.

And we all know what a loser Steve Young turned out to be.

Being totally cereal, it drives me batshit insane when the Packers don’t address obvious needs like special teams (no offense Will Blackmon, but your bones must be made of rock candy), but you know? 59 is 59. It’s a lot. In the way Gilbert Brown’s Burger King tab is a lot. Or the number of men needed to carry Brett Favre’s ego.

Philadelphia? I’ve got the feeling Eagle tastes a lot like chicken. See you in week 1.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, 2010 NFL Preseason