My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

I caught a few minutes of the game as we drove through Slinger, on the way home from visiting family over Christmas.

And then when I got home, the score was 38-3.  Not worth watching at that point.  I know, fair weather fan, right?  Deal with it.

But there are questions that are still lingering in my head.  Questions I need answers for.  Such as:

Is Aaron Rodgers still waiting until the last possible moment to unload the ball?  Shooting a paltry 12 for 23 tells me that yeah, he might be.

Was the offensive line any less offensive?  Yes, they’ve been better of late, and it’s been hard to tell who we should be blaming for the sometimes poor completion percentages: The O-line for not giving Rodgers enough time, Rodgers for not being able to make reads fast enough and deliver pinpoint strikes, or…

Did the wide receivers shed their hands of lead they’ve put on display lately?  Holding onto only 12 of 23 tells me not so much.

Has Atari Bigby finally showed up for a game?  2 picks.  Looks like yes.

Were Woodson and Matthews dominant on D?  Not really, but the stat sheet says they pulled their weight.

Did the Green Bay Packer Bikini Girls make an appearance yesterday?  Did they finally show a bit more skin?  (please send links or pics to answer this one, please)

Are the Packers a real threat to make a run into the playoffs beyond the wildcard game?

The jury’s still out on that one, methinks.

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I’ve always said I’m not a big X’s and O’s guy.  I just watch the games, see where I think the strengths and weaknesses are, then blog about how Brett Favre is a shithead.

It’s been a pretty solid formula for the last three years.

But today I thought I’d put together a brief animation of what I think the key to the game is against the once-feared Pittsburgh Steelers.  I think my gameplan is pretty solid.

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I think it was Astro that uttered the now-famous line:

Ruh-ro Reorge.

I can remember a very short while ago in Packer history when Lovie Smith’s Chicago Bears owned the Packers.  Kept ‘em in a shoebox, pulled ‘em out twice a year to spank the crap out of ‘em, then put ‘em back in the box until next year.

Packers’ coach McCarthy looked like a deer on opening morning every time he was facing the Bears.  Nervous hands, head swiveling left to right, eyes uncharacteristically aligned.

And Lovie always looked like he’d just stepped out of his Dubai Love Complex, bitches begging him to give them just a bit more love. e.

He was Cool McSwagger.

He always had a perfect gameplan. His team was always ready.

Now?  He just looks like a confused Alzheimer’s patient hoping tonight’s menu includes mashed potatoes.  And WTF with the double-timeout-stupid-challenge thing?  It was like watching the final golf scene in Tin Cup.  Only this time, “The Lumbah” is going to be visiting the backside of Lovie’s head.

In all fairness, Lovie was facing the toughest defense he’s faced all year, including this same Packers team his Chicago Bears faced in Week 1.  That defense was high from smoking it’s own press from the preseason. And arguably the best player on the Packers’ defense wasn’t even a starter then.

This one was mobile.  Agile.  Hostile. And that “arguably best defensive player,” my man-crush boyfriend Clay Matthews, is going to be fighting with Charles Woodson for just about every defensive trophy the NFL has to give out.

And thank St. Vince for that, because the offense pretty much left it up to Ryan Grant.  Grant responded by turning in his 3rd 100+ yard rushing game of the season.  Whoopdefreakindo.  Even Sidney Deane knows that the sun even shines on a dog’s ass some days.

Woof woof, Ryan.  Better go put some sunscreen on that.

Looking to next year, if the masturbating armchair GM’s of the world get their way, Mike Shanahan returns to coaching, making a big splash in the windy city, reuniting with Jay Cutler, and with a fine young crop of wide receivers in Devin Aromashodu and Johnny Knox. And Lovie Smith is asking a nurse somewhere if today is Jello Wednesday.

It’s possible that the 2010 season will see the NFC North with the most talented wide receivers of any division, when you consider the talent that Favre also has the pleasure of throwing to.

But whatever.  Packers sweep the Bears and the Football Gods can rest easy, because the universe is exactly as it should be.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Storied Rivalries, Ryan Grant Has a Dog’s Ass, What Do You Get When You Cross Zeus and Apollo?  Clay Matthews, Lovie Likes Mashed Potatoes