My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

In a comment in an earlier post this week, someone was generous enough to offer me space on their site to a scouting report for the Packers/Jets game. And it sounded like a great idea and was very flattering.

But the offer went hand in hand with that one thing I hate: work.

I know a little about the Jets just from Favre’s days there, pimping penis and pump fakes.

They’re good. Real good. Good receivers. A retread running back who still has traction. A quarterback that does fewer dumb things now than he used to. A pro bowl center whose sister could back him up on the depth chart. And a tough, tough defense. And the whole gang is corralled by the original bloodline of Old Tyme Football, the Ryan family.

Tough draw for the Packers. The Vikings lost to the Jets in New York, and the Packers beat the Vikings, too. By that math it should take overtime to decide this game. Which means the Packers should be coming home talking about a moral victory and a .500 record.

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Were you able to get up for this game?

I couldn’t.

With the Packers taking out listings on Craig’s List for linebackers, tight ends and medical staff, and the receiving corps, once considered among the deepest and most feared in the NFL but now among the most in need of stickum, I pretty much loaded up the porn clips on the lapper to keep my mind off the A2M the Packers were going to be dealt today.

There’s no such thing as a moral victory in the NFL, just like there’s no such thing as an “honest” profile picture on Facebook.  But just like that chick who looks hot when she photographs herself from that impossible angle with her boobs all squished up high, this game gave me reasons to smile.

Rodgers still did a solid. Which I’ve learned does NOT mean making a firm poop.  You kids and your lingo, I swear.

It was nice hearing from Greg Jennings.  But it’d be nice if he was more than football’s equivalent of Babe Ruth; home run or nothing.

I was not Laughing Out Loud at all when Brady Poppinga, LOLb, went down with a knee injury. We so need Adam Sandler. Or some of his special water the Himalayas.

In the end, the Packers were able to take advantage of a sleepy Miami defense on 4th and goal, taking it to overtime, where coach McCarthy regularly gets his ass handed to him. Seriously. He had a shelf made for his ass in his office. I think the only OT win to McCarthy’s credit was a Favre-to-Jennings home run against the Broncos, the first play from scrimmage, and probably a Favre audible at that.

Because as we’re getting to become accustomed to, McCarthy’s naptime is scheduled like clockwork to start right at the end of the first half. Second half adjustments for McCarthy usually mean nothing more than shuffling his junk from one side of his pants to the other while he watches the sails go limp on his offensive ship and his defense gets picked apart like a chicken at a McNuggets factory.

The good news? Rodgers is healthy. And uh, that’s about it.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Miami Dolphins, We Need Waterboy

Quick! How many starting-caliber NFL players does it take to beat an NFL team?

A: 53.

Did you answer 39? A full roster minus the number of injured starters and their injured backups?

My thoughts on the game, in no particular order:

Coach McCarthy? Please stop talking about how you’re committed to the run. Just like there isn’t a single person unaware of breast cancer, there isn’t a single person that believes this claim anymore.

Jermichael Finley? I realize it wasn’t a hammie you suffered, it was a torn meniscus.  But you know? I’ve had a torn meniscus since I was 18.  It’s been re-torn a few times.  I haven’t been carted off anywhere. I got up and walked. And I’m not a big, tough NFL baller.  I’m worried you aren’t, either.

Brady Poppinga’s still on the team? Who knew!

In the last few weeks I swear I’ve seen Jennings taking plays off.

On fourth and one, in the red zone, Rodgers was proven right: McCarthy isn’t putting the best players on the field, especially at the crucial times.

The Poppinga pass interference call was a mistake.  The Woodson call was not.

The defense played like they were two men down when Matthews left the game. It made me worry about how dependent we are on Matthews.

Matthews injury aside, in 4 quarters the Packers held the Redskins to 13 points. That should be enough to win.

It’s hard for me to knock Mason Crosby for not making a 53 yard field goal to win the game in regulation. There’s a reason 50+ yard FGs are a big deal.  They’re effing hard.

Donovan McNabb is one tough mothertrucker. I don’t know how he was able to keep getting up, the number of times his cuckoo was clocked.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins, This Post Wasn’t Funny