My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

I told you so.

Sort of.

I knew the Lions weren’t the 39 year old bar maid / last call Mattress Mary that everyone thought they were.

They gave the Bears, who as I write this are being exposed by the Giants as the mid-level ball club they really are, a fight right to the end, and if Calvin Johnson had just finished his “process,” the Bears wouldn’t be undefeated.

The Lions aren’t who we thought they were. Sure, in a few weeks, after a few more tough losses, they’ll probably mentally pack it in and start giving it up like a good Mattress Mary should.

But not today.

Some quick hitters from the game, then I need to go. You see, I celebrated my birthday recently and I’m still owed a little something-something. Honey? You readin’ this?

Anyway. My thoughts from the game:

The Lions seemed to understand that the Packers D line and LBs in Capers’ scheme have a bloodlust for quarterbacks. And the Lions stretching a red velvet rope across their offensive line like a bouncer at a popular club just doesn’t seem to slow down a rush like they hoped it would.

So they used that weakness to create a strength.

The Packers got through early and often. And when they did there seemed to always be someone open just past the Packer rush that was able to take a quick pass and dart upfield for a dozen.

The net? 300+ yards in passing and 100+ yards on the ground (40 of that coming on a Shaun Hill scramble for 40 yards).

When I talk about the Packers’ special teams, I’m talking about special in that way you talk about the poor kid with the goofy grin that gets a medal for trundling 100 yards in 37 seconds flat.

Jordy Nelson’s developing a reputation for pigskin regurgitation.

I could punt as well as Tim Masthay. No, seriously. I could. I’ve just got this knee thing and I’ve been practicing with the high school team, but I’m not sure I want to come out of retirement, even though I’ve sent text messages saying I’m ready to play. I guess I’m waiting for a planeload of Packers to come over to my house and carry me on their shoulders into Lambeau to try to convince me to play.

I don’t know about you, but I’m beginning to wonder if coach Mike McCarthy has to do a Stuart Smalley-like daily affirmation to get even him to buy some of the bullshit he’s been peddling.

“Our run game’s good enough, our special teams’ coach is smart enough, and doggonnit, people like my cross-eyed denial of the obvious.”

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Detroit Lions, Hanging On Like a Kid on the First Day of Kindergarten, Mike McCarthy Likes to Bathe in Da Nile

I bet when it’s late at night and it’s quiet in the Greene household, even coach Kevin Greene dreams about being Clay Matthews.

Matthews has a strained something, but started this afternoon’s game and was a grunge-haired beast. I started rubbing my hands together like a sinister Monte Burns when I saw him wrap up Kolb before sending him headfirst into the turf, then to the sidelines, wondering why he was suddenly on the tilt-a-whirl. Can you imagine him wrapping up Favre the same way?

Muahahahaha!

I’m a busy man, so I’m not going to rehash the whole game. You saw it, right? You know what happened. But a few thoughts I’d like to share:

Charles Woodson appears to have picked up right where he left off at the end of the 2009 season, ball-hawking and just generally being The Man.

How is Michael Vick still breathing after Nick Collins drove that truck into him when he was headed for the endzone?

If Donald Driver was boobs, he’d be a total double D cup. His play today, as usual, was tits.

Saying the words “Justin Harrell” and “season-ending injury” is like Taco Bell saying “Carne Steak.” (hint: “carne” means meat in Spanish.) Time for the Packers to check their receipts to see if the warranty has expired on this lemon of a purchase.

Aaron Rodgers played well. Sometimes. He also was left to run for his life. Sometimes. He made some bad decisions. Sometimes. All told, he got the Pack to a win.

On the other sideline - Michael Vick did something I didn’t think he’d be able to do anymore: make the opposing team look panicked. Yeah, he’s still got a strong arm, one that he uses to make molasses-like deliveries of the ball, and his decisions are sometimes suspect. But there is just no answer for his ability to run. It’s almost like I was praying with each play from scrimmage that he’d forget how fast he was, because Jesus Harold Christ, he seems to still have a gear that nobody else has. Andy Reid has a bona fide quarterback controversy on his hands now.

In a scheduling snafu, the Packers get their first of two bye weeks next week, at home against the Buffalo Bills. McCarthy plans to give all starters a rest until week 3.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Philadelphia Eagles, Week 1, Clay Matthews, Kevin Greene Fantasies

Fucking Ray Nitschke, why have you forsaken us?  I wore one of the most uncomfortable kid football jerseys made when I was 7 because, hello?  It was a Ray Nitschke jersey.

As I’d mentioned yesterday, I wore my adult-sized Nitschke jersey to watch the Cardinal wildcard playoff game.  Had it on all day.  And again, the Packers lost.  The Packers are 0-6 when I pay homage to big Ray on game day.  I don’t think I’m ever gonna wear that jersey again.

Every time I think about how the Packer defense gave up 40 points yesterday I start to feel the bile rising up my throat, so I’m not gonna talk about it much now.

Some positives:

• Rodgers and the offense didn’t lose faith when they were down by 24.
• Rodgers seems to like the challenge of being down, being nearly beaten, but being given the chance to come back.  He was cool as a zucchini yesterday throughout.  And I don’t mean to go all Lou from Major League again this week, but the team doesn’t get to this spot without Rodgers.  That he coughed up the game-winner is still crushing my chest like a heart-attack, but he’s been a damn exciting quarterback to watch this season.
• We have some really good wide receivers.  The Jennings TD catch from the live angle looked like magic.  Like the ball was 13′ away from his body and there was no way to catch it, and then you saw it disappear as it passed in front of his body, but never reappeared on the other side of his body.  Like Jennings was an electromagnet and the ball a little hunk of iron.
• We have an outstanding defense.  I’d love to know where they went yesterday.  The #1 ranked defense in yards allowed should NOT be giving up record amounts of yards in the playoffs.

Some negatives:

• Woodson had an average game yesterday, even with the forced fumble.  We needed more.
• Clay Matthews was merely human yesterday, too.  A good human.  Better than average human.  But human.
• AJ Hawk is too compact a package to have as much muscle tissue as he has.  He can’t seem to do a damn thing on the field but look like a stiff wad of Play-D’oh.
• We missed Al Harris.
• We need a good running back.
• This is getting boring, even to write.

I’ll write more in the coming week or two about what the Packers need to do to improve from next year, but it’s the same shit everyone’s known about for the last 2 years.  So don’t expect many revelations.  But you CAN expect more posts about cheerleaders.  Women always have a way of making it all better, don’t they?

Technorati Tags: Yeah, Make it better, baby, Packers, Cardinals, Gastrointestinal Issues