Even Agent Smith Would Be Impressed
Mon 20 Oct 2008
You spend sixteen years with a guy and you think you know him. And really, we did know him. Even better than we might have realized at first. We just didn’t want to admit it.
Favre never treated rookies very well when they came to the team. Even Doug Pederson, perennial backup to Favre, had a single story to share with media when asked about what he’d remember most about the future hall of famer. The story was about how Brett invited Doug out deer hunting during the season at a time when Brett had a broken thumb. Brett shot a deer then claimed handicap when it came time to drag the deer from the woods. Pederson, Favre’s bitch on and off the field, had to drag that deer.
And when it was clear that Brett was close to the end of his career (evident by Favre’s elongated deliberations over retirement beginning in ‘05) and the Packers drafted his future replacement, Favre did what we should have known Favre would do. Look out for #1. Or #4 in this case. It was well documented how Favre would do nothing to teach his teammates what, when and why he did what he did. It was all aboutBrett, all about needing to be needed.
And now there’s the breaking story by Jay Glazer that Favre had called the Detroit Lions prior to their game against the Packers. Favre allegedly spent nearly 90 minutes on the phone with Lions coaches, giving them as much inside scoop as he could on how to beat the Packers. Brett’s making even Agent Smith (from the Matrix trilogy) jealous with his ability to make it all about “Me, me, me.” (Click on the pic to see it full size)
The story from Glazer (and I heard Glazer explain it on Jim Rome’s radio show) is that Matt Millen, a Favrie, had been leaving messages with Favre to take him out hunting on Millen’s property in Pennsylvania. Favre chose to return the call the week the Lions were going to play the Packers, and during the call Favre asked if Millen wanted any tips to beating the Packers. Millen got Favre in touch with Lions coaching staff, and the rest is history. If only the Lions didn’t suck so hard, they might have used the information to their advantage.
And I can only think of a single reason Favre would do it; he was abducted by aliens, his jewels were removed and replaced by a vagina and after all that, Ted Thompson was no longer his BFF, so he did what Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan or some other vagina-carrying diva would do: He got all bitch up in there. Either that or he’s just an emotional midget who takes his cues from the four women in his family.
Some might question whether the report is true. Here are the only three pieces of evidence you need as proof:
- Jay Glazer said it was true. As I continue to hear more often, what Jay Glazer says is always true.
- Brett Favre denied the claim via text message to one of his only remaining friends. As we’ve come to learn, if Brett Favre denies something via text message, that something is usually true.
- If someone asked me if I’d sexed up my neighbor’s hot wife and I hadn’t, I’d be all “NO WAY, DUDE!” But if I had done it, and didn’t want to be caught later in a lie by denying something that was true, I’d say “No comment.” That’s what Lion’s coach Rod Marinelli did.
Even OJ’s jury would find Favre guilty.
I’m going to have more thoughts on this this week, including the details of which Packer’s photo I’m bringing to Kinko’s to blow up to life size and place on every East-facing wall in my house, because of his reaction to this latest episode in the Favre Daytime Drama.
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