My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

In a move that surprised nobody, the Green Bay Packers unveiled their plans to use a throwback uniform for a couple games this year.  When asked about it, Packer president Mark Murphy said “This is a chance for us to yet again manufacture revenue where it looked like there was none.  I mean seriously.  How many uniforms will you rubes keep buying?  I swear if we did pink unis for breast cancer awareness (and is there someone on the planet that isn’t ‘aware’ of breast cancer at this point), every chick in Wisconsin would be getting a pink Aaron Rodgers jersey for Christmas this year.”

Murphy went on to say “Fuck!  The motherfucking mic was on?!  If any of you leaks what I just said to the media or that asshole Green Bay Packer blogger?  I’m gonna snatch your nuts and use ‘em for dice.  We clear?”

Oops.  Looks like Mr. Murphy’s gonna have some dice with pretty rounded-off corners to use on his next trip to the Oneida Casino.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Throwback Uniforms, Grad-Level Courses on Sucking Your Customers Dry to be Held at Lambeau Atrium

My wife just gave me a footballgasm. She said it was really easy, but what can I say? She’s got skeelz. She’s hot that way.

If movies about football were porn, this would be the Behind the Green-n-Gold Door of movies.

Here’s all you need to know:

Robert fucking DeNiro.

Playing Vince fucking Lombardi. In a movie.

The snippet of this movie I want to play in a loop forever? DeNiro saying “What the hell’s goin’ on out here?!”

Technorati Tags: Robert DeNiro, Vince Lombardi, Green Bay Packers, Epic Movies, Footballgasms

Well, folks.  Here we are.  The off season.

Brett Favre has said he thinks there’s no way he’ll come back for another season.  Again. And he’s scheduled to appear this week in prime time on the new, old (and entirely marginal) Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And I’m sure there will be questions about Favre’s status.  Again. And I’m sure Favre will dust off his “golly, anything can happen” schtick.  Again.  He’ll speak in stammering partial sentences, committing to nothing, leaving every door to his return very nearly closed.  Very nearly.  But not quite. Also scheduled for this week?  Me holding a garbage can to catch my vomit when I watch Brett in his well-rehearsed, oft-performed dance of enticement of football fans.  Only this time, the barf that leaves my mouth will be accompanied by uproarious laughter, because this time I’ll know it’ll be our neighbors to the west who are holding their breath, biting their nails and throwing their Nerf footballs at their LCD screens as they listen to Favre trying his best to hide his feelings of self-importance.

Suck it, Vikings fans.  This was all part of the bargain you made when Charlie Daniels and his fiddle packed up and left Georgia to visit the Twin Cities.