My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

Listen.  The only X’s and O’s you should trust from me are the ones I write on the “Glad the Pregnancy Test Was Negative!” cards I send your girlfriend. Put me in front of a smooth piece of slate next to Vince Lombardi, standing there with a piece of chalk in his hand, and:

1) I’m probably dead, right?

2) If I’m not dead, I’m certainly peeing a little.

I know there are short bus caravans worth of guys who feel they know more than most GMs on the payrolls of top NFL franchises, but you and I know they don’t.  We both know that I don’t know shit, either (if I did, some Daniel Snyder type would’ve snapped me up by now).

That all being said, here are some things I’ve noticed lately in Packer play:

A.J. Hawk is a fireplug.  He’s never gonna look good doing the hip wiggle part of the Macarena, because fireplugs don’t dance.  When you think crazy athletic, Hawk is probably not in your top 75. In the NFC.  But emmer effer, he’s playing with a swagger these days, inny?  Confidence will take you further than straight skeelz, and that’s good, because Hawk has yet to really live up to expectations.  Mine, anyway.  But lately I’m liking what I’m seeing.

Brandon Jackson.  All some boys need to blossom into strong men is some consistent love.  In the case of Jackson, that love comes in the form of consistent reps, starts and game day touches.  If I’m shooting you straight (which I always will, unless you piss me off, then I’ll totally gut shot you), I feel more excited each time he touches the dead animal skin than what the $30M Man did when he was healthy.

I’m coming to expect Tramon Williams to do something special each game. I expect it because Williams has set that expectation for me.  And I think he’s good enough now that Packer coaches need to start limiting his roles, so he can focus on a few and not put himself unnecessarily in harms way.  Like returning kicks.  Kick returners are like the guy on Star Trek in the red uniform that you haven’t ever seen before this episode.  You know they’re expendable and probably not making through the show.  We need Tramon to put on a yellow uniform, or whatever the hell uniform means he stays on the active roster and healthy. God damn I fucked up that analogy, didn’t I?

I made fun of Charlie Peprah a year or so ago. But in all fairness, he had it coming. Double-checking the post I linked here, I see not even Charlie thinks enough of himself to keep his own website active. Shame, because now he’s making some contributions.

Same with Sam Shields. A guy who even Chris Havel, with his great mind, voice for Wisconsin radio and a face to match, was pretty sure was the third tit on the Packer’s secondary mule.  Turns out extra tits can be nice to have around.*

Anyway. This is getting long and I’ve got some turkey to eat.  Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Random Shizzle My Bizzle and other outdated things white men say

* a search for medical information on third nipples led me to wikipedia, where the “man” in the photos appears to have more problems than having an extra nipple. I’ll start the bidding with he’s a man and he has boobies.

I’m sure you’ve heard about it, but maybe you haven’t seen it.  If you haven’t heard, Al Harris to a half-page ad out on the back page of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, thanking fans for, well, being fans while he was played for the Pack.

I’ve heard a few say that sure, he made millions in Green Bay, it’s the least he could do.  I bet if you ask those people if they even sent out a Hallmark the last time they lost a job, they’d say no. So all those people that say that? You have my permission to sack punch them.

I’ve long been on record as really liking Al. Not that his reputation needed any cement, but this cemented his status as one of the classiest ballers to ever don green and gold.

Here’s the ad: (click it to see the whole thing)

Technorati Tags: Al Harris, When Al’s Around, Class is IN Session, Green Bay Packers, Miami Dolphins

As recently as yesterday, I heard Mike Tirico and Scott VanPelt talk about how bad the Colts have had it lately with injuries, and how the Packers have had “a few” but have gotten past that, but are still just a so-so team in terms of the hunt for the Lombardi Trophy. It pisses me off a little, but you know me. Sirreebrawl. I likes to think. And I think I know why the mainstream sports media thinks that the Colts have been so strung up by injuries while the Packers are perceived to have had it no worse than any other NFL franchise:

1) Peyton Manning doesn’t play for the Packers. If I told you to pick the face of the NFL, right now, you’d probably choose among Manning, Tom Brady, Brett Favre (for a few of the wrong reasons), Michael Vick (also for a few of the wrong reasons, but several of the right reasons, too), and maybe Troy Polamalu. You know that out of all those, nationwide, Manning walks away with the title of Face of the NFL. So whatever happens to his team? Bigger news. Plain and simple.

2) Peyton Manning doesn’t play for the Packers. Wait, whut? Here’s the other thing about it being about Peyton Manning. That offense is predicated on Manning and his ability to execute an offensive strategy that leans heavily on passing. I know. Duh. But all of the “big” injuries to the Colts? Receivers. OMG, Manning lost his first-string tight end? OH NO! Guess what? Packers lost their dominant first string TE and his backup. IN THE SAME GAME. And then OH NO! AGAIN! The Colts also lost a few marginally productive wide receivers. That’s it. But their offense is so dependent on having star receivers that they really struggle to function if they don’t have them. And they still do, just not as many.  Just like the Packers.

3) Most of the Packers’ injuries were to defensive players. Defensive players just don’t get the press that offensive players do. Simple as that. Matthews goes down and Rodgers goes down in the same week - who do you hear more about? Rodgers. So even though the Packers have lost the equivalent of an entire starting defense this season, not much is made of it because it ain’t offense.

4) AFC vs. NFC. The Colts and Packers have identical records (6-3), but the AFC gets all the gloss, all the glam. The Colts lose to the Eagles and it wasn’t as close as the score would indicate, and the ‘Skins took the Colts to the wall. Not exactly among The Beautiful People if the AFC is so damn good.

5) The Packers are deeper. They’ve been able to successfully plug in younger players into positions as more vet guys fall. Sam Shields? Charlie Peprah? And the linebacking corps? I mean, come on. Nobody lost as much at that position and still maintained as high a standard for stuffing balls down the opposition’s throat. You can and should thank Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy for that. The reason why the Packers’ success despite devastating injuries isn’t a big story? They have talented backups ready to take the reins. The Colts don’t.

So brag on, Indianapolis. It’s amazing you’ve been able to get by with sooo manyyyy injuries. But in the NFL, excuses are like experimental periods in college. Everybody has one. And unless it involved two or more chicks, nobody wants to hear about it. Which reminds me, I should tell you abou… meh. Maybe another time. For now, the only thing the Packers have been concerned with is “Just win, baby.”

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Injuries, Just Win Baby