My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

Remember that nice young man I told you about a short while ago? Looks like he’s been given a roster spot.

I guess we’ll see if this Packer blogger knows shit about football. hint: he doesn’t.

Technorati Tags: You Don’t Know Jack is an awesome game, James Starks, Nice Young Man, Green Bay Packers

Mike Woods, sports writer for the Post-Crescent, wants the truth. So does Al Harris. And in the name of good PR, Thompson and McCarthy would be well served by serving up some truth.

I remember when Woodson was out for a few weeks with a toe injury and I thought, meh. We can live without Woodson. When no, we really couldn’t. When Harris went down I thought oh, no! What are the Packers gonna do without Harris?

Turns out they’ve been just fine.

And maybe it’s unfair to compare the two, but have you looked at the stats, Woodson vs Harris?

So. There are lots of reasons the Packers could have given for releasing Harris. Maybe on his refurbished wheel he’s just not as fast. Maybe the new guys have done a nice job taking up the slack and their speed and strength in youth outweigh Harris’ experience.

I liked Al. Stayed out of trouble, worked hard on and off the field and was always professional. He wasn’t a lockdown corner and his tackling was sometimes, well, suspect. But I liked him. And I’ll miss him.

Unless he goes to play for the Vikings. Then I’ll hate that motherfucker.

Technorati Tags: Al Harris, Green Bay Packers, Truthiness

11/10/10 UPDATE: In what looked like a game of rude musical chairs, today the Miami Dolphins shoved former first round pick, cornerback Jason Allen off one of their 53 chairs, wiped it down with alcohol and invited Al Harris to sit in it.

Isn’t James Starks a nice young man?

He looks like it. He looks like Isaiah Thomas, minus the sexual harassment.

And he says all the right things.  Or at least he did in the 2 minute video on Packers.com.

Let’s take a closer look at this prospective Packers rock handler, shall we?

He attended the University at Buffalo, which has a student body of 29,000. UW Zero has a student body of 13,000, for reference. UW Madison has 42,000.

He runs a 4.5 second 40 yard dash.  Faster than me, that’s for sure.  Last time I ran a 40, Gilbert Brown would have beaten me (college combine Gilbert Brown, not today’s Gilbert Brown. He’s a fatty.).

He set records for career rushing yards (3,140) and touchdowns (34) at the University at Buffalo, despite missing his entire senior season with a shoulder injury.

Cue the scratchy record sound.

He missed his entire senior season?  Uh, Justin Harrell?  We have a problem.

And while 3,000 yards is a really big number, it doesn’t seem so big when you start comparing it to other career or even season numbers from the NCAA. At schools and in conferences where games are actually televised and they have the budgets to turn the lights on and play games at night, anyway.

I visited the University AT Buffalo website, and on the athletics main page, you know what I saw? I loop of four scrolling images pimping four different sports stories from the school: two soccer stories, a women’s basketball story and a women’s tennis story. Number of football stories?  Cornhole. That’s how big the football program is at U at B.

Drilling down a bit more, I see the Buffalo Bulls football team brings platters to every game, so they have something to hold their assess with when their assess get handed to them. And to answer your next question, yes, the platters are silver. This is a classy school, Holmes.

And he’s had a hammie since May. As in five months. I’m pretty sure a new hamstring made from stem cells the delicious cinnaminny crust of a honey baked ham could have been fabricated by now. Reggie Bush broke his friggin leg in the second week of the season and is ready to come back next week.

Clearly, durability and “plays through pain and/or injury” are not on Starks’ resumé.

So let’s recap.

• He runs a 4.5 forty. Brett Favre was only a tenth of a second slower out of college.
• He hasn’t played in a meaningful game since 2008.
• His most meaningful games were played in the Mid American Conference, against powerhouses like the Eastern Michigan Eagles, the Akron Zips and the Western Michigan Broncos.
• His injuries tend to last forever, and he gets a lot of them.
• He tallied good numbers in college when he wasn’t hurt, but he was mostly running amongst crippled gringos named Timmay. In the MAC.

So. Gringo Royale? My totally unqualified assessment of that fine young man named James Starks?

He’s like Tera Patrick.  Very busty.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, James Starks, Run Like the Wind from a Dutch Oven, Milking His Hamstring