As Brett Favre sees Viking rising star after rising star get snuffed and plummet to the earth, maybe that ankle doesn’t feel so good after all. Maybe hangin’ in some Wranglers and ridin’ that Simplicity lawn tractor doesn’t sound so bad about now.
As I was rolling to a local cigar shop I listened with the giddiness of Ralphie opening up that Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle on Christmas morning.
Favre took a hard hit? He was spun around like a drunk chick at a wedding and then thrown to the ground (like a drunk chick at a Mississippi wedding)?
I need to say for the record, though it any of you are keeping track of what I say on the record, you really need a more worthy hobby, like collecting fingernail clippings or tracking the size of your morning wood (c’mon, four inches!): I don’t like seeing Percy Harvin or Simeon Rice go down to injuries or headaches or whatever. They’re both very talented, and while I don’t like that the Packers have to play against them, watching talented players is always a joy, no matter who they play for.
I don’t wish those two guys or any other players on the Vikings’ squad harm. Except where that harm hurts Favre’s ability to win games. Then I’m totally ok with it.
You still got the arm to put receivers in the hall of fame, Celine? I see you’ve got Packers and Raiders castoff Javon Walker to throw the ball to now, so you should be totally fine. So long as you don’t need a guy that’s smart enough to not fall for your “pull my finger” trick.
The word on the street is that you’re freelancing in the huddle, you have a leaky line in front of you, a running back that’s been following Moises Alou’s advice on skin moisturizing too much and likes to put the ball on the ground, and your receiving targets, well, they’re dropping like deuces at a laxative party.
Can you still carry a team?
As my young daughter says when I tell her she can’t have a pony:
We’ll see about that.
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