My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

So I’m watching television tonight (I love me some Intervention - nothing makes me feel like my life rocks more than watching someone huffing Rustoleum until they’re blue in the face. Seriously. Face was all blue. From the paint. See? Your life rocks too, doesn’t it?), and there’s another commercial for a cellphone company - T-Mobile. Their latest ad campaign is of people saying “hello” when normally they’d say “goodbye.” A cute girlfriend tearfully says hello as her boyfriend climbs into his car and drives away. The kids say hello to dad as he leaves for work. A quarterback says that after 17 years in the NFL, it’s time to say hello. (Cue the needle scratching a record)

I guess if you learn what’s right and wrong on dirt streets in Mississippi, you probably shouldn’t be expected to know what a slap in the face this is. Favre jerks around his team and the Packer fan base, spiraling year after year into indecision about whether he’s going to return, then he retires, unretires, retires again, then kinda unretires, then finally gets on a chartered jet to come up for training camp. Like a snake on a plane. Where’s Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?

All jokes aside - this was in very poor taste, Brett. You pulled a months-long diva act, holding the Packers and your fans for ransom for months (and seasons), and now you’re making money from your period of indecision, all while poking fun at us by appearing in this commercial. I am embarrassed. Embarrassed to think I was a fan of yours. Embarrassed to know that you’ll be welcomed back into the fold. Did you ask OJ Simpson about how to go about cashing in on your public misdeeds? ‘Cause that’s how this thing feels to me.

For a guy who’s not about the money, it sure looks like you’re willing to burn just about anyone to get a little more of it. How you don’t walk away from this commercial offer given the things you know the fans in Wisconsin have been saying about all of this is something I don’t think I could understand. Maybe if I had $50M in cash and assets and had surrounded me with all lovers of Me, it’d be hilarious. But I’m closer to $50K in assets, so this reads like a Leona Helmsley bio to me.

Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpb.  Ptui!

Ok, I got some of that out of my system. My dad always taught me that if I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem. And I want to help get this problem solved. What can I say? I’m a giver. And I have a possible solution. By doing this Brett will provide some much-needed goodwill to the local fans. Here’s the plan: cop to making a media rookie move and make a written pledge to donate the money you made from the T-Mobile campaign to some local charity. As in Wisconsin charity. Pretty simple, right? And since he’s going to make $13M just from the Packers this year, it’s a safe bet that he can afford it. Who knows how much he’ll make from Wrangler, Prilosec, Bergstrom Automotive, Remington, Snapper Mowers and Mastercard, but I think Brett could prahhhhbably afford to miss out on the T-Mobile booty.

So what do you say, Brett? Are you on board with this, or do I need to superimpose your face on a pretty little sun dress to do my version of poking fun at your indecision, then send it to the Big O for a media blitz?

Technorati Tags: Brett Favre, T-Mobile, What’s That Bad Tastes in My Mouth, Oh, It’s Ass, Green Bay Packers

I’m impressed that some of you figured it out. He’s worked so hard to shield the info from the local media and even his extended family, but some cagey fans out there have put the pieces together and solved the mystery.

Ted Thompson is a wizard.

I mean, he has to be. Why else would Packer fans believe that Thompson “should have known better” when Favre scheduled and held a press conference saying he was done playing football. To anyone with the normal allotment of five senses, it would have been impossible to know that someone who took all the steps to retire from his profession would end up un-retiring within days. But not a wizard. A wizard would know. And since so many fans thought Thompson should have known, he must be wizard.

Hey, Ted - I’ve tried the pump, the pills Bob (who only plays golf with woods) down the block is selling, but I’m not having any luck. Can you make my junk bigger? Just a little bit? A quick Alaca-dong! oughta do.

I know the Mississippi Invasion began at around 7pm Central time, with Favre touching down at Austin-Straubel airport and climbing into a maroon colored Escalade to be whisked away to destinations unknown (probably his Green Bay home), so the next part of this post is moot. But I spent like an hour making this graphic, so I’ll be damned if I’m gonna waste it. With Brett considering the “Personal Services” contract the Packers were proposing, it was sounding like Green Bay would have it’s very own Chubbs, only without the alligator homicide and mannequin’s arm. I’m not sure if his job would be to coach the new QB’s and keep his jersey and pads in the trunk just in case we run through all our quarterbacks by October, or to be the lead actor in tacky Green Bay tourism commercials. “It’s so good here I just had to come back.”

With Brett climbing out of the chartered jet on the Austin-Straubel tarmac, it seems Brett’s not going to do any of those things. Packer Prez Mark Murphy has said they plan to welcome him back, but his words were selected carefully enough as to not tip his hand as to what was meant by “welcome.” Like, “Welcome back, Brett! Here’s a bucket - go collect all the dirty jocks and put ‘em in the washer.” But Ed Werder, John Clayton’s slightly less nerdy ESPN coworker, is reporting that Favre will be allowed to compete for the starting job.

Newflash - it is reported that Favre went straight to Lambeau for the televised Family Night practice. Deanna has been spotted at Lambeau, and it’s unlikely that she traveled there alone.

And by the way - for those of you who have never lived in this football market - I know that every city thinks their fans are the best (with the possible exception of Detroit. And Philadelphia.), but seriously. What other football market can sell out their stadium for the team’s first football practice? You know, I’ll play this conservative and say that there are maybe two other teams that can do it. I know there aren’t, but this is just for shits. Of those three total markets, how many would then televise the first practice with a full compliment of local sports analysts and cameras as well as sideline reporting? I’ll tell you how many. None. People outside Wisconsin don’t know what it means to have a football team play such an important role in the lives of the locals that mid-career pressers by the starting quarterback will preempt everything else on television at that moment. And the wacky guy who cuts the team logo into his lawn? There’s one of those guys in Kansas City. Every freakin’ neighborhood has that guy in it here. This town wrote the feckin book on fan support. Every other team is a second-rate plagiarist.

Other news of note: Ryan Grant may be the biggest beneficiary of the Brett Favre epic, as he and his agent noticed that while the team was full up on QB’s, they hadn’t done anything to bring in any new talent of backups to the running back position. Can you say cornered like a stripper in prison? With only 5 hours of actual on-field experience in a Packer uniform, he was able to command a 4yr, $30M contract. Stupid money, but what do you do when you have your employer bent over, and you’re in a job where your body will likely only last 2.3 years? You put it in.

A side note - I’m checking the local Green Bay and Appleton newspaper websites and finding no pics or any news of Favre landing. With this being the culmination of weeks of constant coverage, it’s unconscionable that they have nothing online by now. It’s been over two and a half hours - do they not have automobiles at the Green Bay Press-Gazette? Reporters? Have they replaced the film cameras with digital yet? There should have been a reporter writing up a 500-word piece to accompany the pictures, written while the plane was in the air, so that when it landed, a few quick snaps and a rush back to the sports editor’s desk and poof! Exclusive. Tell you what - why don’t you paper people keep an eye on this blog. I’ll get pics and a post about Favre’s landing in Green Bay up before you and your staffs of hundreds can.

Update: I’ve already done it.  Pwned.

Technorati Tags: brett favre has landed, ted thompson, egopalooza

Just like I wasn’t too amped about the preseason wins against the (two years ago) Superbowl teams, I’m not checking to see if I can use my toe to pull the trigger on my 12 gauge while I suck on the barrel, now that we’ve lost the last two practice games.

We’re talkin’ ’bout practice.

Yes, the running game is worrisome and the receiving corps is pretty young. But special teams has shown some bright moments, and it appears that we have our choice of good place kickers in Dave Rayner or Mason Crosby, and our defense seems to be much better this over last year.

And the energy level of that defense seems high - when asked after the game A.J. Hawk swore he heard someone yell “PIÑATA!” during the Jacksonville preseason game last week, knocking the snot out of some poor Jaguar RB like he had Snickers in him. I mean the guy was swinging like he was a green light:

So the Packers will start the 2007 season with a few question marks but also few excalamation points. Let’s see how far this punctuation will take us.

Tell me that’s not the coolest candy bar commercial you’ve ever seen.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Preseason, NFL, 2007, Piñata