My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

If NFL franchise markets were boobs, Green Bay would have trouble filling out an A cup.  And she’d be standing in a roomful of Jugs Magazine centerfolds.  Big, full, bouncy, exciting…

Where was I?  Right.  Market size.

Green Bay is small.  Roughly a quarter million in population.  Probably the same number of people as inhabit the John Hancock building in Chicago on a weekday.  But the Green Bay Packers organization?  If NFL franchises were men, the Packers would be a player.  A ladies’ man.  Someone that knows his way around the female anatomy.

The Packers know how to squeeze their market.  They can get every last drop out of those A cups.  I told someone in another big football market recently about how the Packers sell worthless pieces of paper they call “stock” in the team, $750 apiece of paper, to generate revenue.  When he stopped laughing, I told him about how the Packers sold 4″ x 4″ chunks of frozen turf from Lambeau one year, again to finance their operations.  He lost consciousness.

So when I heard about the Packers having a day for kids at the Atrium, I was sure it was going to cost a fortune.  $25 a kid, I bet.  Nope.  It was free.

So we loaded up the truck and we drove to Green Bay.  Lambeau.  Hallowed fields.  Football stars.

As we cruised up highway 41 I said to my wife - “I bet they’ll charge us $20 for parking.  I mean, this is the Packers.  Nothing’s free once you’re inside the yellow gates at 1265 Lombardi Ave.”  I could see the air leave the lungs of wife, ever the skilled bargain hunter, as she considered how this apparent freebie might quickly turn into something very expensive.

We got to the gates.  Nobody was tending the ticket booths.  Drive right in.  We parked, unloaded the reasons for our grey hair, then walked to the Atrium’s front doors.  We were greeted by friendly people handing out free NFL Play60 headbands to every kid that walked through the door.

And there were inflatables.  For those without kids, those are the air-filled bouncy things.  Not your last-ditch Friday night date.  And to top it off, there was a group of jumping gymnasts, showing off their amazing abilities to soar and do back flips while flying ten feet in the air.

The kids loved it.  The parents loved it.  And it was all free.

Thanks, Packers.

My fellow Packer bloggers and Packer blog readers:  I have an assignment for you.

I’ve been listening to the ESPN radio between-commercial sound bite from Linus Scott Van Pelt for the last month about how the Steelers should have the distinction of being America’s Team based solely on the existence of Steeler bars across the country.  If countrywide (and dare I say worldwide) themed bar count is the only arbiter of what makes a team “America’s Team,” I think the Packers beat everyone.  (Of course if we’re counting championships we’re still #1 but I’m getting off topic and the meds are about to kick in and I’ll forget everything I want to write so I have to work fast.)  Here’s a graphic from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, tallying Packer bars nationwide:

And here’s “Fun Sarah,” a woman in a Packer bar on the Left Coast who indeed appears to be built for fun. (Sorry, Sarah - my persona on this site is that of a pig, so I kinda have to keep it up, just for appearances. I’m nowhere near as piggy in person. At least not out loud.)

So.  Packer fans across the United States, Canada, Mexico and the world:  I need your help.  Send me links to your Packer bars.  Wisconsin bars are good, but the further flung, the better.

And?  If you’re a part of one of these establishments and you send me a picture, particularly a picture of a cute member of your wait staff or female customers, you’ll get yourself a mention on the home page.

Free PR.  Can’t beat it with two hands and lotion, right?

And I have this extra, brand new Packer pullover jacket lying around, gathering dust.  Not saying I’m necessarily gonna give it away, but if you go above and beyond the call of duty?  Maybe I send it to you.

Send email to jpfootball@gmail.com.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packer Bars, A drunken Tommy Thompson declaring the Packers “America’s Real Team”, Less Drunk People Declaring The Same

You remember Aretina, right? Aretina is a Packer fan. As you might imagine, Aretina is sad.

As one of the six finalists for the Monster Fandemonium thingamajigaretinaisadorableisn’tshe, Aretina got to meet Jerome Bettis and Sterling Friggin’ Sharpe.

And, as the hottest of the six finalists by a wide margin, Aretina deserves your vote. How adorably hot is she? Watch this video. I’m pretty sure that’s Jerome Bettis acting shy and nervous around sweet little Aretina.

So.  Go here.  It’s an NFL-sponsored site for Christ’s sake, so quit acting like I’m trying to trick you into something. When you get there, vote for Aretina.  She could win something.  Superbowl trip, I think. I don’t really know. What I do know? If she wins, she’ll be contractually obligated to send more pictures of herself at the big game, giving that come hither look she seems to have mastered.

Technorati Tags: Smitten, Girls Small Enough You Could Toss Them Over One Shoulder, Green Bay Packers, NFL, Monster Fandemonium, Vote for Aretina