My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

Here’s what you already know about Tony Mandarich

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(you can skip the rehash and go straight to the babes in bikinis. Not. Kidding. Warning: May not be safe for work.)

Mandarich played his college football in the Big Ten, as an Offensive Lineman with the Michigan State Spartans. Because there was no category for the dominating blocks Tony would get on Defensive Lineman in college, his coaches coined the phrase ‘pancak’ to describe how by the end of a play Mandarich would often end up having knocked down and flattened the opposing rusher. It was not uncommon for the defensive lineman Mandarich was locked up with to be removed from the game film frame, having been pushed 15 or more yards away from the play.

It was this type of college domination that led to him being featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated (The Incredible Bulk), with inside fluff pieces that included things like his diet of something like 2 dozen eggs a day, 2 steaks and other insane amounts of food. Essentially Mandarich was eating a small farm’s output every day. His on field punishment and off-field notoriety saw him as a top prospect for the 1989 NFL draft. At the time you could hardly disagree: Mandarich was named a first-team All-American, an Outland Award finalist and was twice a Big Ten Lineman of the Year, not to mention a Heisman trophy finalist.

Even with the scent of spectacular failure of another high-draft ‘non-skill’ player Brian Bosworth fresh in the noses of football heads everywhere (who was, like Mandarich, rumored to have taken steroids. Well, with Bosworth, it wasn’t really a rumor), Mandarich was chosen second in the 1989 draft, ahead of Deion Sanders and Derrick Thomas, as well as Heisman winner and Hall of Famer Barry Sanders.

Within just a few years, Mandarich again appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated, the SI jinx having taken hold of Tony’s career and dismembered it (Incredible Bust). After only 3 years of a 4 year contract with the Green Bay Packers, the Packers cut Mandarich, citing a failure to live up to expectations.

Mandarich owned it (which it seems all good Canadians do, and is one of several reasons why I like Canadians), telling the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel in a 2003 article: “I wanted to create as much hype as I could for many different reasons: exposure, negotiation leverage, you name it. And it all worked, except the performance wasn’t there when it was time to play football.”

Four years later he found a role to fill with the Indianapolis Colts, where he played for a few years until he retired in 1998.

Where is Tony Mandarich Now?

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He got married in 2004 to a former model named Char. Total MILF.

Through parts of 2004 and 2005 Mandarich worked as an NFL analyst for a Canadian sports network, but lost that job.

He co-owns a golf course and has recently opened photography studios in both Arizona and Toronto. And this my friends is where things get interesting.

It appears Mandarich learned quite a bit in his time before and during his NFL career about manipulating the media to achieve a specific goal. I mean that in a good way (don’t get pissed, Tony). He seems to have applied that knowledge to his newest endeavor, his photography studios in the US and Canada. An article recently appeared in the Post-Crescent, as well as on the sports blog Deadspin and a bunch of other places, all in the last week or so, using a lot of identical copy - Mandarich appears to have been sending out pressers to anyone who’ll read them. There are also links to and from his business sites (and MySpace accounts and blogs and videos), showing he’s updated his media-savvy skillset to include pimping his wares on the web.

And what a life the guy has led. Sure, I wouldn’t be too happy about having to spend a life where every newspaper or magazine article with my name in it would forever include the word “bust” (unless people were carving my likeness into stone or if I had a nice big rack), but the guy got a free college education. I had to deliver effing pizzas to pay my tuition. After college he got paid millions for playing a game. He’s got a MILF for a wife, and it appears that he now is earning a living playing on his own golf course and taking pictures of 20-something nearly naked bikini models. WHILE. HIS. WIFE. TOTES. THE. CAMERA. BAG.

If I spent a week thinking about how I would have preferred my life to come out, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t top play pro football for millions then retire to spend my days playing golf and photographing nearly nude models.

Freakin’ Larry Flint didn’t have it that good.

But in all honesty, Tony, about the photography gig; If you gave me some Playboy-quality models, a polaroid camera and just enough material to cover their nipples and shaved meat wallets, I’m pretty sure I could open a successful photography studio, too.

Because the Mandarich bikini model images are plastered all over the web, I am making the bold presumption that he’d like the additional exposure these photos (with links, of course) would generate. If this is not the case, please have an authorized rep contact me and I’ll remove these pictures and replace them with other lovelies from some other photographer and give them the credit.

Technorati Tags: Tony Mandarich, NFL, Green Bay Packers, Indianapolis Colts, Where Are They Now, What’s In Your Wallet?

Now that I found out “Where Andre Rison is Now“, I can’t seem to get away from him. ‘Dre was on Pros versus Joes again the other night, catching balls over the tops of the likes of accountants and Starbucks employees.

I’ll admit that compared to coffee barristas, Rison is unbelievably fast. But ‘Dre, if you want back into the pro game, I think you’re going to have to lose that muffin top.

Technorati Tags: Andre Rison, NFL, CFL, Wide Receiver, Muffin Top

What You Already Know About Andre Rison

Andre Rison attended Michigan State University and set the school’s all-time-receptions mark with 146 (which was recently surpassed by Matt Trannon). He started his professional football career in Indianapolis in 1989, and after one season went to Atlanta, where he played five seasons, averaging 80+ catches per season, making the pro bowl in all but his final season with the “dirty birds”. It was in that final year (1994) that he also had his million-dollar Atlanta home burned to the ground by TLC hottie Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes in a fit of rage. (Some people believed the 1998 movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” borrowed from this real-life story when Angela Bassett’s character burned a spurned lover’s house to the ground. Or maybe a car. I know she burned something.) That and other off-field activity saw ESPN’s Chris “The Comb-over” Berman nickname him Andre “Bad Moon” Rison.

In 1995 he played for the Cleveland Browns, then was picked up by the Jaguars in 1996. Partway through the season the Green Bay Packers snagged him to help make a Superbowl run. He was only in Titletown for 5 regular season games and the playoffs, but he made an impression. The town was turned upside-down, not knowing if they wanted someone with such a checkered past running around our pristine, milk-fed city. Turned out he was no trouble at all while he was here, and even showcased Ron Wolf’s ability to pick winners, as a Favre-to-Rison hookup in the first quarter of Superbowl XXXI put the Packers in the lead on their way to a big win in the Big Easy.

It was during this same season that I got the chance to meet Andre Rison. It was on a plane headed from Green Bay to Detroit; I passed him in first class on the way to my seat. In coach. And by “meet”, I mean I walked by, saw a ‘blinged black man stowing his luggage, realized who it was, tried to think of something cool to say, realized I’d sound like a dork no matter what I said, then just grinned stupidly and walked by.

What’s Happened Since Rison Left Green Bay

After the Superbowl XXXI victory, the Packers let Rison go, and he found himself a job in Kansas City, where he played the 1997,98 and 99 seasons for the Chiefs. In 2000 he went to the Raiders, where he played his final season of NFL football, snaring 41 balls and scoring 6 touchdowns. At the end of his NFL career, Rison totaled 743 catches for over 10,000 yards and 84 touchdowns.

He was also busted that year for writing $158,000 in bad checks. Like the bad mo-fos Rison and I are, I was also once busted for writing a bad check. It was 1988, I was in college and starving. So I kited a check for pizza. Totally worth it.

In ‘01, with his NFL days seemingly behind him, he reconnected with Left-Eye, and had plans for marriage (I know. WTF, right?). Tragically she was killed in a car accident in 2002 while vacationing in Honduras. At the time I believe they said she was carrying out a charity mission for young children there. Rison’s homeowner’s insurance premiums dropped 50% the next day. (Am I a prick for saying that?)

Shortly after that a small hole appeared in the earth’s crust and swallowed Rison whole. It chewed on him for a couple years before it decided to spit him back out to join the rest of us, where he promptly signed with the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL in 2004. As with the Packers, he helped lift the team to a championship, giving the Argos a Grey Cup victory for the 2004 season. Rison played for Toronto again in 2005, but by the end of the season he was out of a job. It was also around this time that another judge decided that since Rison hadn’t paid the $127,000 in back child support he owed to Raycoa Handley (mother of his two sons), he’d should spend some time in the Big House playing a 30-day game of “Don’t get your shit pushed in.” When Rison got out, his bunghole intact, he cut the court a check for $10,000 and called it square.

In 2006 he was spotted at the Pro Bowl Legends game, a sandlot game for the oldtimers. According to Andre Rison’s own website:

If you had the pleasure to watch Andre (at the 2006 Legends game), you see why many people are saying he still has a few seasons left in him. Playing alongside Michael Irvin, Steve Young, John Elway, and Irving Fryar, Rison dazzled the crowd with his quick feet and sure hands while playing in an event during the 2006 Pro Bowl.

Ok, Andre. Two coats of gloss is plenty.

Rison still wants to play ball. He doesn’t expect to make it in the NFL anymore, he just wants to play ball. Arena, DePere JV, whatever. Unfortunately, in his quest for relevance he’s very close to crossing the Flavor Flav line into absurdity. About 13 months ago Rison was seen on Spike TV’s Pros VS Joes, playing with Kordell Stewart against the skinny white boy tandem from Deadspin. Even then the producers of the show warned the white boy tandem not to tackle Rison or Stewart, because they might hurt them, as they both were “trying to make comebacks”.

As if.

What’s more, in researching this article I discovered that tonight on TNA Wrestling, Rison will be smashing turnbuckles with “The Monster” Abyss. At this rate, Andre better call dibs on his room on the next Surreal Life.

This is starting to make me sad. You’ve done a lot of amazing things, Andre Rison. Ride off into the sunset as a guy who had a great NFL career and won a couple championships, your dignity and edgy reputation intact.

Technorati Tags: Andre Rison, Wide Receiver, NFL, Football