My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

The robot is quoted in Pro Football Talk as saying he hasn’t been out “carousing.” That’s good, because unless it’s 1950, I don’t think anyone carouses anymore. Mackin on some ladies?  Maybe.  But not carousing.

No, no, Rodgers said he’s been in his room, studying game film, preparing for the Superbowl.  At least that’s his cover story.  And Rodgers believes that sticking to his usual routine in preparing for the Superbowl, doing the same things he’s done all year, will pay dividends on Sunday.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are hoping the same.  In the name of their cover story, “sticking to the routine,” Ben Roethlisberger was out boozing at a piano bar last night, and reportedly started playing chopsticks with his, uh, chopstick.*  And Hines Ward insists he wasn’t at that strip club, but again, stick to what you know.  You like having fine nekkid ladies waggling their behinds in your face? If that’s what got you to the big dance, then by all means, stick to that game plan. And make sure you have a good cover story for the media.

Speaking of cover stories, I have a chance for one or two of you to win your own “cover stories” - a sweet, custom cover for your iPhone, iPod touch, Blackberry or other smart phone.  Coveroo makes them, and I have one or two to give away to readers like you. The winner will receive a code from me to enter at checkout.

Here’s what you need to do in order to win a free Coveroo: comment on my blog after the Superbowl. Whether the Packers win or lose, the most entertaining 2 comments will win. And by entertaining, I don’t mean chock full-o stats and box scores. Be insightful. Have a take that isn’t regurgitated from somewhere else. Or be funny. And as always, if you have a hot girlfriend or wife (or girlfriend AND wife) and send me a picture of her wearing Packer gear, that will be given priority consideration.

Simple, yes?

So. Watch the game. Then report back here and wow me. And Go Pack.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Coveroo, Win Stuff

*This story has yet to be confirmed by anyone but my imagination.

I know things can get a little crazy up in here when the Packers are playing for the Lombardi trophy.  Companies offer their employees a paid holiday the day after the Superbowl if the Packers win, or the local chain burger joint might offer deep discounts if the Packers score so many points in the game.

But the latest discount I heard on the radio made me wanna fall over and die.  Literally. BECAUSE OF THE DISCOUNT!

It was an ad for a memorial park near Green Bay. You know. Where they bury dead people.  And if you’re lucky enough to be dead by the time the Packers play in the Superbowl? You might just have a chance at the ultimate fan experience. For dead people, anyway.

What you get? Your ashes in a special brass urn, presumably with an engraved “G” on it.  And you get placed on a “Mantel of Fame” next to other urns filled with the ashes of other dead Packer fans.

But here’s the kicker.  I mean, you can get this special fan package whenever you want. But to get the discount? You kinda need to be dead before the start of the Superbowl, and the percentage of the discount is however many points the Packers have at the end of the game.

So if the Packers score 50? You get half off your Fan For Eternity cremation package.

All you people fighting the big C and barely hanging on? Or those waiting for a heart transplant? Are you a Packer fan?  Just give in, man. This package is to die for!*

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Superbowl, Deep Discounts, Six Foot Deep Discounts, This Is The Most WRONG Promotion I’ve Heard Of In My Life

*You know I’m kidding, right?  This has to be the most ridonkulous promotion I’ve ever heard of.  If you’re unfortunate enough to be fighting cancer or awaiting a transplant, please hang on and fight. I just wanted to use sarcasm to show how inappropriate this ad is.

Corvette vs Hummer

Superman vs The Hulk

The contrast in these two quarterbacks deserves a close look.

In the past I’ve referred to Aaron Rodgers as a robot, and I meant it as a compliment. Mostly. You remember that guy in high school or college that always seemed like he had the tiger by the tail? Always seemed to make the right moves with the profs, always had cash, always had a pretty girl on his arm.  Some time during this season or last, the story came out that Rodgers looked into the lives of the referees that’d be officiating Packer games, so that he could engage them in conversation before and during the game, the idea being you make friends with them and it’s just natural that they’ll be the tiniest bit less likely to make a call against the Packers.  And in that flash of an instant, when a ref is deciding who jumped offsides? Maybe the call goes the Packers way.

It’s like Rodgers always makes the right moves. He’s calculated the probabilities and tendencies and taken the tack that’s most likely to lead him to what he’s after.

Like a robot.

Ben Roethlisberger I’d liken to something more like Frank, the angry combine in the kids movie Cars.  He’s not precalculating moves, premeditating on the social engineering of a team of referees. He’s more brawn than brains. Make no mistake: he’s good.  And in fact, he possesses that one characteristic I wish Rodgers appeared to have - that Hulk mentality, where his passion and desire for a certain outcome makes him bigger and stronger than he already is, capable of forcing his will on the other team, no matter the odds against it.

And Roethlisberger is friggin’ huge. Linebackers are sometimes at a size disadvantage when trying to bring down Big Ben, getting shoved to the ground with a quick stiff arm like I do when my kids want my ice cream sandwiches.

Rodgers is better on the scramble. Rodgers probably has at least 30 IQ points on Roethlisberger. And his EQ is probably just as superior.  He keeps the shit in his head tight.

They’re both prototypical quarterbacks - one for his composure, intellect and athleticism, one for his hulking mass and undying desire to win.

And not that this is a measure of a good QB, but a review of the dating habits of the two is equal in it’s contrast.  Rodgers has been seen with the likes of Erin Andrews, Jessica Szohr, Hillary Scott and Julie Henderson. Roethlisberger has been seen forcing his cock in the faces of unwilling college coeds.

Clearly, one of these guys has their act together more than the other.

So we’ll see which superhero takes the day this Sunday.

I’m pulling for Superman.

Technorati Tags: Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, Green Bay Packers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Superbowl