My Official Green Bay Packer Blog

Of all the people in Wisconsin, nobody is as surprised as me that I’ve posted this much on this blog over the last two weeks, so far after the Superbowl and so far before the draft.

But here I am, posting again. About a person who appears to be Wisconsin’s adopted son, tight end Spencer Havner. Why is he Wisconsin’s adopted son? He catches lots of touchdowns. Actually, no. That’s cool and all, but the reason he’s one of us? Spencer was arrested in California for DUI yesterday.

And when you compare the penalties in Cali for DUI to the penalties in Wisconsin, I bet Spencer wishes he was in Wisconsin right now.

The bonus? He broke his shoulder. Double bonus? There’s probably a stipulation in his contract that says NO MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLES.

Said one of Havner’s neighbors, when interviewed: “Spencer’s a great guy. He’s one of those, uh, what do you call guys that are really smart but really stupid at the same time? Suhvanty? Right. Idiot Suhvanty. Spencer’s one of those. Love that guy.”

Nice goin’, Spencer.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Spencer Havner, Drinking Like a Fish, DUI

In a move that surprised nobody, the Green Bay Packers unveiled their plans to use a throwback uniform for a couple games this year.  When asked about it, Packer president Mark Murphy said “This is a chance for us to yet again manufacture revenue where it looked like there was none.  I mean seriously.  How many uniforms will you rubes keep buying?  I swear if we did pink unis for breast cancer awareness (and is there someone on the planet that isn’t ‘aware’ of breast cancer at this point), every chick in Wisconsin would be getting a pink Aaron Rodgers jersey for Christmas this year.”

Murphy went on to say “Fuck!  The motherfucking mic was on?!  If any of you leaks what I just said to the media or that asshole Green Bay Packer blogger?  I’m gonna snatch your nuts and use ‘em for dice.  We clear?”

Oops.  Looks like Mr. Murphy’s gonna have some dice with pretty rounded-off corners to use on his next trip to the Oneida Casino.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Throwback Uniforms, Grad-Level Courses on Sucking Your Customers Dry to be Held at Lambeau Atrium

I know there are sports towns out there. Both small and big cities with fans who get the logos of their fave teams emblazoned on their persons.

Whenever I meet folks in other NFL franchise cities, I try to explain that while they may THINK they have crazyrabid fans, they don’t have the kind of fans this little podunk Wisconsin market has.

Exhibit A: 79 year old Jim Becker. Why is he so special? In order to be able to afford Packer tickets, Jim sold 145 pints of his. own. blood.

You say your fans bleed for their team?

Ours actually do. 145 pints worth.

Technorati Tags: Green Bay Packers, Packer Fan Hall of Fame, Packer Blood Money