My Official Green Bay Packers blog

I get it. In lieu of cheerleader coverage, the games are just a bit more fun to watch if there’s sweet-n-tasty snicky on the sidelines giving us our injury updates or the halftime jog-interview as a team’s braintrust tries to get to the locker room to gameplan for the second half.

And maybe there’s a correlation between a female reporter’s beauty and her sports IQ. Whatever it is, we need to fix it. Maybe have some sideline stripper lip-sync an actual report from a smarter but possibly less visually appealing woman. Because what Danyelle Sargent did? I was uncomfortable just listening to it.  ‘Cause I mean, really.  She’s beautiful, right?  But I can’t help but think of a bag full of hammers when I hear her name.

What happened? Danyelle caught up to Mike Singletary before his first game as the 49ers head coach, and one of the first things she says is “I heard that one of the first calls you made when you got the head coaching job was to Bill Walsh.” She hears something in her earpiece and adds “What. What happened? What did I say?”

I’d like to know how that phone works, the one that would let Singletary call Walsh, because I have some questions for my dead uncle Marty. And D.B. Cooper, for that matter.

You remember Joe Cullen, right? Coach on the Lions’ staff who likes to drive around town naked?

Are you a golfer? Not just a weekend hack, but a guy who’s played more than a hundred rounds in his life? Then you’ve probably heard of this. Sometimes dudes have a side “bet” on golf outings - if anyone hits a drive that does not clear the ladies tee box, you’ve got to play the rest of the hole with your dick out. It’s called (wait for it): Dick Out.

I know Joe Cullen’s a big golf freak, and I know he’s been looking for a playing partner that doesn’t mind whipping it out now and then. And it can be lonely when someone with an elite job like professional football coach can’t find someone in his profession to share his hobbies.

Joe baby, have I got a playing partner for you. With less than two weeks on the job, Mike Singletary has decided to stand up and proclaim: “Yes. I like talking to other dudes with my dick hanging out. And I like golf.”

I’ve set up a tee time for the two of you, but dammit, I don’t want to hear anything afterwards about club shafts or ball washing. Let’s say we just keep the freak down nice and low, and keep it between you two, ok?

Finally, I guess we have an answer to my previous question about Mike Singletary. Pretty sure Lombardi never dropped trou to make a point with his men.

Technorati Tags: Mike Singletary, Joe Cullen, Dick Out, Drop Trou, 49ers, Coach, Orate Naked!

I’m sure you’ve heard about the post-game presser newly minted 49ers interim coach Mike Singletary gave. If not, here it is:

When I first heard the “Can’t play with ‘em” sound bite, I swore I got a man crush for Singletary.  Or maybe I wanted to vote for him as a write-in for President.  Not since Lombardi has a new coach grabbed a bull by the nuts and yanked quite like that.  If you watch the whole presser, he seems to have lots of incomplete thoughts.  I figured - the guy’s pissed, first game as head coach, he’s ready to eat a Riddell, so he can’t quite get all his thoughts out.  Forgivable.  Then I watched the follow-up presser the next day:

Ok, kicking a player off the field is pretty unheard of, but at some point you have to stop entertaining the reporters by answering their questions and go just go Parcells on the issues you said you like to keep in house, and just stop answering.   By going on and on about Davis and the inferences that you don’t respect him and that you’ve had issues with him prior to the taking over as head coach, you look like Jimmy Carter reincarnated as a football coach.  Or Ellen DeGeneres.  Carter’s not dead, you say?  My bad.

Technorati Tags: 49ers, Mike Singletary, Vernon Davis, Who da man?,   Ida man!,   Err, Meeda Man!, ahh, n/m